Page 6 of Sweet Poison

“Good. Now that Natalie is settled …” Pearl turned to me. “What about you, Miss Hermit? When are we going to discuss your problem, which, as I remember, is getting urgent?”

“What urgent problem? I’m fine,” I said, confused by the direction the conversation had suddenly taken.

They both gave me a look.

“You’re bored,” Pearl said decisively. “And you need to have your cherry popped.”

“To be clear, I’m not bored, but why not shout the other part louder?” I asked sarcastically. “There might be someone at the other end of the bar who didn’t hear you!”

“Honey,” Natalie said in a matter-of-fact voice, “the whole town already knows. You do realize that you’re the last virgin left in town, don’t you?”

I could clearly see now that the alcohol was doing its work on all of them except me.

“For heaven’s sake. I’m happy as I am, okay. I’m not interested in men or in being in a relationship at the moment.”

“So … let me see if I understand this correctly,” Natalie mocked, “your big plan is to remain a virgin for the rest of your life?”

I fidgeted uncomfortably. “Obviously not. I just haven’t found the right man yet.”

Natalie snorted. “Fiddlesticks! You’ve had twenty-four years and you haven’t come across one off your own steam. I think you need some help. It’s time we ride out to Stormy City and see if we can find a man to unclog your pipes. Someone tall, dark, and fiery.”

Hoping to change the subject, I turned to look at Kelly. The scene had changed from the bartender mixing her an experimental cocktail to both of them leaning forward to drink from the same glass while staring deeply into each other's eyes. It was surprising they hadn’t fallen over altogether.

“Jesus, those two,” Pearl exclaimed.

“That,” Natalie said decisively, “is exactly what you need, Montana.”

“Eww … a toy boy?” Pearl made a face.

“No,” Natalie said, “a man toy. Older, more rugged. Someone who’ll bone our Montana so hard she sees stars and be unable to walk properly for days.”

My jaw dropped. “Hello. I’m sitting right here.”

“Yes, I see that, but it needs to be said,” she said, totally unrepentant.

“Who knew you were sexually deviant beneath all that good girl next door exterior?” I muttered.

“I’ve always known,” Pearl said. “You should have seen the stuff she was reading in high school. Only God knows what she’s reading now.”

“I’m serious,” Natalie insisted. “Is tomorrow a date?”

Pearl nodded. “Yes, it is.” She looked at me sternly. “It is, isn’t it?”

I didn’t want a relationship. I had no interest in marriage. And yet … suddenly, I was back in the woods. I could feel the rasp of the deer’s tongue on the palm of my hand and the voice in my head whispering, ‘It’s time for a change, Montana.’ Maybe, change was not accidents and death, maybe change was just a man’s body, strong and sure, moving on top of me.

“Okay!” I agreed and hit my palms on the table causing the empty glasses on the table to clatter.

“Excellent!” Pearl shouted triumphantly.

“You’ll have to lose the cowboy hat and dress up, though,” Natalie warned. “No flannels or boots. You need to look real fancy. Fancy enough to catch the eye of the best-looking guy in the joint.”

I gave it some thought, but I didn’t want to be a spoil sport, so I nodded. “Alright, I will, but for the effort I have to put in I better meet someone worthy, or I’m never doing it again.”

“You will,” Pearl replied confidently. She threw her arm around me. “I guarantee it.”

Kelly suddenly plopped down next to us. Her lips were well swollen.

“Wow!” Pearl exclaimed. “Really?”

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