Page 82 of It Started at the Lake

“Thanks.”

I spend the next thirty minutes working every inch of Bennett’s back. There’s a mole under his left shoulder blade. A smattering of freckles across the top of his shoulders like someone threw confetti on him. And a straight spine I’ve had the pleasure of looking at. I change from a deep massage into a light scratch up and down his back.

Bennett sighed about twenty times, but otherwise, he’s been quiet. I’m done letting him relax. Bending, I replace my fingertips on his skin with my lips. Starting at the top of his spine, I kiss each vertebra until I reach his low back, then I move over to the right and work my way up his side.

“Mils,” Bennett says in a husky tone.

“Ben,” I say in the same tone.

Using my teeth, I place an open-mouth kiss on the side of his neck, then blow gently on the same spot. My insides quiver with pleasure and heat. Bennett’s arm snakes around my waist. In one swift movement, he lifts himself up and swings my torso under him, our legs tangling together.

He stares at me with dilated pupils and heavy heat in his gaze. “You.” It’s an accusation, demand, and claim all at once.

“Yes?” I quirk a brow.

He leans down, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, my nose, my chin. My heart thunders in my chest with each tender touch of his lips to my face. A mix of coconut from the lotion and chocolate from his breath mingle in the air. Greedy for his mouth on mine, I cup a hand around each of his cheeks and drag his lips to mine.

The second we make impact, a burst of color explodes behind my eyes like the firework finale we saw on the Fourth of July. His mouth is hot and restless as he teases my lips apart. I willingly match the pace Bennett leads. What started off gentle, he’s turned intense like cranking up the propane on a grill.

Sliding my hand down his bare chest, the beat of his heart thumps under my palm. Closer, I want Bennett closer to me. Snaking my other arm around his neck, I pull until our stomachs touch.

Bennett’s hand cups my hip, squeezing.

My stomach swoops and I kiss him harder, my head tilting to get a better angle of his mouth. I want him to understand how big my feelings for him are through my kiss. I need him to understand he’s like no one I’ve been with before. He’s supportive, fun, a great listener, caring, considerate, and so dang sexy.

My fingernails gently dig into his back.

Bennett groans. “Yes, you know that’s how I like it.”

What? His words are like a riptide yanking me under the waves, chilling the heat swirling inside me. I push Bennett's shoulder, rolling out from under him, scrambling off the bed. “No, Bennett, I don’t know how you like it, since this is our first kiss.”

Bennett’s eyes pop open wide and his jaw drops in mortification. “Millie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in the way you’re thinking.”

As in he thought I was Jen? Because, yeah, that’s exactly how it sounded. My fingers shake as I tuck the loose strands of hair that fell out of my braid behind my ear. “I need to go.”

He jumps off the bed, running his hands through his hair. “Please stay so we can talk about this.”

Tears prick the back of my eyes. I’m a fool. Bennett isn’t over Jen. My heart crumples like someone ripping out and crushing a wad of paper between their palms, tossing it in the trash.

“I need some space before I can speak rationally.” If we hash this out now, the pain and rejection will take center stage.

He drops his chin to his chest. “Okay. You know where to find me when you’re ready.”

I sniffle and nod. Rushing out of the room, I barely make it to the top stair when my tears won’t hold back any longer. Streams run down my cheeks. Like a sucker smacked against a hard surface, my heart cracks into a hundred jagged pieces. I do nothing to brush my tears or pain away. Running through the house, I make it to my room and flop onto my bed, curling in on myself.

My head aches. My stomach is tense. Mucus leaks out my nose. But my heart’s the most damaged.

How could he think I was Jen? Was it the bed? The way we kissed? I promised myself to stay away from men because I can’t pick the right ones. Turns out, even with Bennett’s help, I’m broken. I should have kept to my man-ban. Told him it didn’t matter if he fell for me. We made a deal to keep our relationship fake.

What is wrong with me that no matter who I choose, I end up broken-hearted? Why can’t I find someone who loves me without there being complications?

My bedroom door crashes open. “Millie?” Evie says with relief. Curling up behind me, she wraps her arms around me. “Bennett just texted and said something happened and I needed to check on you. Are you okay?”

Another wave of tears escapes my ducts. I’ve been lying to my best friend, and for what? I’m aware I’m not a pretty crier. It’s hard to see through my swollen eyes. “We were kissing,” I get out between sobs, “and he said something about me knowing how he liked it. But I don’t know, Evs. It was our first kiss. How would I know anything unless he thought I was Jen? He’s not over her. He lied to me. He’s not ready for another relationship. I was a convenient experiment to see if he was capable of moving on. Which is stupid because that’s why we started fake dating in the first place. But like the gullible dunce I am, when he said he was actually ready, I believed him. I should have known he couldn’t flip a switch so quickly from loving Jen to being interested in me.”

I can’t stand the hollow feeling in my gut. Please let it go away.

“Oh, babe, I am so sorry! I should have reminded you of your man-ban and kept you away rather than leaving him with you. I was too caught up in Ben dating, especially it being you, I didn’t pay attention.” Her eyes narrow. “Wait a minute. What do you mean fake date?”

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