Page 50 of The Single Dad

“About yesterday,” he says, not looking up from the pan.

My heart thuds in my chest. “Yeah?”

“I just wanted to make sure I was clear. I know we didn’t really finish our conversation last night, but I meant what I said.”

There’s a plummeting sensation inside me, pure disappointment. “Yeah,” I say, trying to keep my tone relaxed. “Of course.”

“It was a moment of weakness.” He sets the fully-cooked bacon strips onto a paper towel to absorb the excess grease. Wiping his hands on a cloth, he looks up at me seriously. “I hope you can forgive me for that.”

I laugh weakly. “Sure,” I say. “I mean, I had a moment of weakness too. I pretty much have to forgive you.”

For just a moment, as I grin at him, that smile from yesterday makes a reappearance. There’s a flutter, a lightness, in my stomach—the excited, gleeful nerves that I felt as we flirted across the table at the restaurant.

Then, just as quickly, it’s gone. He shifts, looking away to turn the heat down on the stove. “We can be stronger.”

“Absolutely,” I agree. “Plenty stronger.”

There’s a moment of silence in the kitchen as Cole returns to the French press, portioning out two cups of coffee for both of us. He slides mine across the counter. I catch it, blowing cool air over its surface.

He watches me wordlessly, and suddenly, I begin to feel self-conscious. What if I accidentally sounded sarcastic—insincere?

“This job is really important to me,” I blurt out. He raises an eyebrow, and I clear my throat before continuing, “I wasn’t sure if I should take you up on it at first, to be honest, but now… well, the truth is, I just adore Archie. He’s a great kid.”

As I say that, all of the skepticism drops from Cole’s face, to be replaced by a look of open pride.

“I have so much fun with him,” I say. “And I would never want to hurt him, in any way.”

Cole turns back to the stove, doling out slices of bacon onto three plates. “And that’s why you’re perfect for this job,” he tells me. “Archie is attached to you, too. I can tell.”

He hands me a plate, and his eyes lock onto mine. For a second, I’m lost in the cool blue of his irises.

Then he says, “And that’s why we need to make sure we keep these lines clear. For Archie’s sake.”

I swallow, my gaze dropping to the counter, and nod.

“I want to keep you on as his nanny,” Cole says, “and I want to do whatever it takes to make sure we can maintain that professional relationship. So let’s make sure, going forward, that we keep our walls up. Got it?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” He says the word with finality, as though that completely settles the matter.

His head lifts at the soft sound of Archie’s slippered feet in the hallway. Archie wanders into the kitchen, sleepily rubbing at his eyes. Cole turns to the boy with that smile that’s reserved just for him.

“There’s the man of the hour. You need some breakfast?”

Archie nods, blinking in the light of the kitchen.

“Come sit over here, Archie,” I say, turning my attention to him so that I don’t have to look at Cole anymore. If I busy myself with caring for Archie, these boundaries should be simple enough.

“I’m headed to the office,” Cole says. He ruffles Archie’s hair as he walks past the table. “Be good.”

I can’t help but wonder who those words are supposed to be directed at. I give him a nod as he leaves, which he returns. It’s polite. Careful.

Too polite, and too careful. I can tell, despite our conversation and both of our restraint, that the tension from last night is still there, lingering. That, no matter what we do, it won’t be dispelled so easily.

That’s fine, I tell myself, going to the fridge to grab a glass of milk for Archie. We can do this. We can keep things professional.

I feel a flicker of uncertainty, accompanied by a flash of shame at my past conduct in this job. What was I thinking, leaning toward him like that? Flirting with him at dinner? Stepping all over every careful line he had drawn in the sand, just because he didn’t stop me? Just because he wanted me to?

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