Page 162 of The Single Dad

I get ahold of myself slowly, taking deep breaths and letting myself sit with the emotions.

Maybe I don’t need Rebecca to forgive me, I realize. Not only am I certain she would, I also know I will never be able to hear it from her, the absolution I’m looking for.

No. It has to come from myself.

After all, I’ve been the one blaming myself for her death this entire time. I’ve been blaming myself for a million things, for all of the failures throughout the past few years.

But in truth, if I think that I’m doing something wrong… if I think that I’ve fucked up… then there’s really only one thing to do. There’s no sense in dwelling on the past. I need to make changes.

As I rise to my feet, my face dry, I feel a bit lighter than I was when I arrived. Full of resolve.

Chapter 52

Riley

There are at least fifteen different brands of fish food at the pet store, which makes shopping for my still-unnamed betta fish way more difficult than it needs to be.

It’s a low maintenance creature, so I don’t know what could possibly necessitate all of these different brands. One promises shinier scales, and the other claims to promote healthier fins. I shake my head, weighing one option in each hand.

Finally, I decide to make the choice at random. If I picked wrong, my unnamed fish will just have to cope with subpar pellets.

I toss the box into my shopping basket and continue down the aisle. I have to pick out a new filter for his little tank, then I’ll be on my way.

As I round the corner into the next aisle, I almost run straight into someone. I stumble back, startled, and drop my basket. The box of fish food slides across the floor.

“S-sorry,” I stammer, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“No worries,” says a familiar voice.

I freeze with my hand halfway to the fish food. It’s Cole.

I look up, and there he is, in the flesh. From this angle, he looks even taller and more imposing, but the rigid facade is diminished somewhat by the appearance of Archie’s delighted face around his legs.

“Riley!” Archie yells, exuberant. “You’re here!”

“I sure am,” I say. He’s a sight for sore eyes, I have to admit—I’ve really missed both of them. But I don’t say so out loud. “What are you guys up to?”

“We are here to, ah… get a ‘fish treat,’” Cole says, making air quotes. “I’m not entirely sure what that is, but Archie insisted.”

“Swimmy needs something nice,” Archie explains. “You have to give your pet a treat, or it’ll get sad.”

I fight the instinctive smile that comes to my face. I don’t want to make this encounter more awkward by being overfamiliar, but I can’t help myself. “But what does a fish treat look like?” I ask. “I think they only sell fish food.”

“I don’t know,” Archie says, frowning.

I glance up at Cole, who is also struggling to keep a straight face. “So you guys don’t know what you’re looking for, do you?”

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “What would you get, as a present for a fish?” His voice is deadpan, sardonic, but Archie doesn’t notice.

“Riley can help us pick out a fish treat!”

“Um… sure,” I say. I thought this would be a short trip to the pet store, but I can’t say no to Archie. I think for a few seconds, then add, “What if you got Swimmy a nice, new rock for his tank?”

Cole nudges Archie. “That’s a great idea. What do you say, bud?”

“Okay!” Archie dashes off toward the aquarium aisle, his hands stuck out behind him. Then he comes to an abrupt halt, glancing back at me and beckoning. “Riley, you have to help me choose a rock.”

“Sure,” I say dubiously. I hike the basket up on my arm, following Archie over to the aquarium decorations.

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