Page 144 of The Single Dad

“I… these things happen,” I say falteringly, trying to get my feet back under me. “Sometimes kids get hurt.”

Cole says nothing. I can practically feel the coldness radiating off of him in waves. This is far, far worse than it ever used to be, even back in the days when he barely spoke to me.

I decide to keep trying. “Archie is going to be okay, but Cole, listen—you can’t somehow make sure that he never, ever gets hurt. It’s called growing up—being alive. You can’t ever be totally safe.”

Cole’s head whips toward me, his eyes blazing. I take a step back, defensive. “Why are you deflecting?” he growls. “Quit trying to downplay it. It could’ve been even worse.”

“But it wasn’t,” I say, aghast. “This isn’t that big of a deal. Plenty of kids break their arms playing. It’s a normal part of childhood.”

“Archie could’ve broken his neck. Of course it’s a big fucking deal.”

“You don’t have to take that tone with me,” I say, my throat going tight. “And I don’t know why you’re pinning this on me. We were both there.”

“Sure, but it was your job to be watching Archie. The whole thing should have never happened—if you saw him playing unsafely, you should’ve been there to stop him!”

“I’m not omniscient!” At this point, I’m having trouble keeping my own anger out of my voice. I never want things to escalate to a fight, but my emotions are rising out of my control. “I can’t be in two places at once!”

“Well, maybe there was only one place you should have been,” Cole replies, his voice dropping.

I blink, unsure what he’s suggesting. “You don’t need to find someone to blame,” I say, rather than responding directly. “This is just… something that happened. It was random, and it sucks, but at the end of the day, it’s—”

“Don’t say it’s fine!” Cole interrupts. He glowers at me, fixing me with a look that I’ve never seen on his face before. He looks furious enough that I almost expect his gaze to sear. “It’s not fine. This is completely unacceptable.”

“Cole,” I say, exasperated. “This is well within the normal parameters of parenthood. I’m sorry, but it’s just part of raising a kid.” I pause, breathing heavily, then add sharply, “I don’t appreciate you insinuating that I’m a bad caretaker for Archie.”

“You weren’t watching him, and he broke a bone,” Cole snaps. “How else am I supposed to understand that?”

“You were there, too!” My hands shake. We’re starting to go in circles, the surest sign of a full-blown, bona fide fight.

“Yes, but I wasn’t on the clock. I wasn’t working.” He takes a deep breath, trembling with anger and tension. “You should have been watching Archie, because that’s what I pay you to do.”

Cole’s words knock the wind out of me. Is that all he thinks I do in his life? Is that all he thinks I was doing at the park, when the two of us were sitting beneath the shade of an oak tree, enjoying each other’s company and the scandalized stares of the other parents?

I close my eyes, transported for a moment back to the park, to the sun-dappled picnic blanket and the soft touch of Cole’s lips on my cheek.

Everything went wrong so quickly.

My eyes snap open, and I glare defiantly right back at him.

“I’m good at what I do,” I say, my voice like ice. “And I’m not just some distraction.”

Before Cole can reply, the door to the examination room swings open, and the doctor leans her head out into the hallway.

“The two of you can come back inside,” she says conversationally, as if she doesn’t even notice the tension hanging in the hall.

Cole gives a rigid nod, like a soldier, and files back into the room. For a few moments, I stand alone out in the hallway, trying to catch my breath and compose myself. I don’t want Archie to be able to tell that I’m upset; he’s had enough stress for one day.

“So, our good pal Archie is good to go,” says the doctor, clapping a hand on Archie’s back. Archie’s tears have dried somewhat; the doctor must have given him some painkillers. He’s sporting a cast on his broken arm that extends past his elbow. The bandage wrapping it is a lime green color that I suspect he chose himself.

“Are you feeling okay?” Cole asks Archie quietly, approaching the table. Archie looks up at him and nods, holding up his arm in the cast.

“They gave me green.”

“That’s great,” Cole says.

“I’m gonna ask my friends at school to sign it,” Archie says, his voice still a little feeble. “And draw pictures on it.”

“That will be fun. But for now, let’s get you home, and get you some rest. You must be tired.”

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