Page 136 of The Single Dad

While Archie tells Sophie all about Swimmy, doing his best to overcome his shyness, Declan and Reed turn their attention to Cole.

“You’re okay, right?” Reed says quietly. “To give the eulogy, I mean. ’Cause that shit seems like it’s gonna be hard.”

Declan shoots Reed a look. “You heard the man. He’ll be fine.”

“If you need me to cause some kind of scene, I’m on it,” Reed offers, ignoring Declan. “Let’s see—” He cranes his neck, scanning the crowd. “Oh, yeah. This is a field I could play. You can go ahead and get a little drunk for your speech, nobody’ll remember that if I get caught in the coat closet with Angelina.”

“Reed, shut up,” Declan snaps, his voice commanding despite his obvious exasperation.

I glance at Cole, and notice to my surprise that he’s just barely suppressing a smile. I recognize the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. I realize that, in his own way, Reed must be trying to cheer him up—and it’s almost working.

Almost.

As we file into the pews and take our seats, the almost-smile slips from Cole’s face.

The service is short, so Cole doesn’t have to wait long before he stands up to take the podium. His posture is stiff, every bit as formal as his crisp, black suit. For a few moments, he’s silent, steeling himself.

Then he says into the microphone, “My father was… not a perfect man. Anyone here who knew him can tell you that. I don’t want to stand up here now that he’s gone and tell lies about his life, or about who he was.”

There’s a murmur through the crowd. From the pew behind me, I hear Reed mutter to himself, “Jesus fuck, Cole, I was joking.”

“But like all of us, he had plenty of potential,” Cole goes on. He speaks confidently, eloquently, and I feel the knot of nerves in my stomach begin to loosen. “I believe it would be a disservice to ascribe to him qualities he didn’t have, but there is still no shortage of positives to focus on. He was endlessly knowledgeable. He was hard working and fastidious. He instilled in me the value of attention to detail, and, in his own way, he taught me about the importance of family.”

Cole’s gaze darts to Archie for a brief moment. I think I understand what he’s saying. It’s not necessarily positive, but if it weren’t for the way his father acted, Cole might not be as committed to his own family.

He pauses, then goes on, with a touch of humor, “He was an excellent driving teacher.”

A muted laugh ripples through the crowd. Cole launches into the story of his first time behind the wheel, when his father taught him the purpose of the clutch and the brakes the hard way, by letting him stall the car repeatedly until it began to make sense.

As Cole’s eulogy goes on, I realize how touched I am by it. It’s the perfect way to handle this; to speak respectfully, but honestly, of the dead. He admits the truth—his dad wasn’t the best father—while still never condemning him as a person.

There’s a lot of emotion in his expression, anguish that I wish I could take away. The trauma and grief of his past always seem to weigh heavy on him, and now, they’re front and center. While he speaks at his father’s funeral, he doesn’t have the option of burying them, like he normally does.

Having known him for as long as I have, and getting as close to him as I am, I’ve realized something about Cole. He feels like this often. There’s something in him, deep inside, that’s broken.

More than anything, I wish I could fix it.

Cole wraps up his speech. He kept it short and simple, like everything else about this funeral, which is probably for the best. The gathered mourners nod respectfully as he descends from the podium, returning to his seat beside me in the pew.

Surreptitiously, as he sits down, he brushes his hand against the outside of my thigh. Through the gesture, I can feel how tense he is, and my heart aches for him.

When the service is over, the crowd files out into the foyer for a reception. Everyone lingers, paying their respects. A few people come up to tell Cole how moving his eulogy was. He gets through all of it with stiff nods and short replies.

I hover nearby Cole, keeping an eye on Archie. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be acting like his girlfriend or his nanny, and it’s probably safest to do the latter.

Eventually, Reed, Declan, and Sophie come back around to us.

“That was a great speech,” Reed proclaims. “I never doubted you for a second.”

Cole huffs. “Sure, you didn’t. I notice Angelina’s hair is still pinned up, so I’m gonna go ahead and assume that you didn’t try to score at my father’s funeral.”

“No, I did not,” Reed says with a mischievous grin. “I was very well behaved. These two kept an eye on me the whole time, you can ask them.”

Declan and Sophie both simultaneously roll their eyes, and once again, I see the look of amusement dancing in Cole’s gaze.

“In all seriousness,” Reed says, “I’m here for you, man. Anything you need, just say the word, okay?”

Cole nods. “Thank you.”

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