Page 42 of The Last Promise You Made

When I went back inside, Gia and Addy were at the table, looking at something on Gia’s phone, and I instantly went on alert. I’d been pissed when I’d walked into the bedroom earlier to hear Gia questioning her. The little girl could barely talk, let alone tell us what had happened to her.

I only relaxed when Gia said, “You’re really good at video games.”

As I got closer, I could see there was some kind of brightly colored game on the screen. Candy and objects that Addy was dragging her fingers along.

I ran a hand over my head, scratching at the back of my neck before settling my thumbs into my pockets. “So, I don’t know what time you normally go to bed, but it’s late, and you’ve had a long couple of days. Probably should start thinking about heading that way. Maybe a bath?”

I groaned internally. I sounded like a fucking idiot. Wishy-washy. Mila would have already torn my logic to shreds. Instead, Addy handed Gia back her phone, slid out of her seat, and came over to me. We headed down the hallway, and I felt Gia on our heels.

In the bathroom of the blue-cloud room, I searched the cupboards, wondering if Mila had left any bubbles or shampoo here the last time she’d stayed over, but no such luck. All that was in the tub and shower combo was the grown-up stuff my sisters used. Nothing kid-friendly.

I turned the hot water on and looked back at Addy. If she’d been mine since she was a baby, there’d be nothing awkward about this moment. I would have been helping her bathe since she’d had toes and fingers so tiny they were doll-like. Now, I was sure she was as uncomfortable as I was at the idea of her removing her clothes and getting into the water. Gia seemed to understand, compassion crossing her face in a way that settled deep inside. But I wasn’t sure Addy would be any more comfortable with Gia just because she was female.

When I looked at the little girl’s face, it remained blank and guarded. She had one hand clasped around the other wrist, nails biting into the skin like she’d done earlier to keep herself awake. There were red marks there, as if she’d done it many times, and that upset me all over again.

“I want to help, but I don’t have to,” I told her. “Gia can…or, I don’t know, can you do this on your own?”

She nodded.

“You can do it on your own?”

She nodded again.

“Okay. Why don’t Gia and I just wait right outside the door, and if you need us, you can holler or bang on the wall, and we’ll come in.”

I stepped outside, and Gia followed. I shut the door behind me, listening to the quiet on the other side. It hung on for a long time before the splash of water drifted through the door. My chest burned. My eyes burned. I wasn’t sure I could stand much more tug on my emotions in one day. The soft, compassionate look on Gia’s face remained, and I hated it. I wanted the fierce, confident look I’d first encountered.

“I’m sorry. This…” She shook her head. “I can’t even imagine how hard this is.”

I dragged a hand over my clipped beard. There wasn’t much to say in response. Each minute seemed excruciating, opening old wounds, opening a heart that had been locked down, all while there was a chance Addy wouldn’t even stay with me. We might find out she didn’t belong to me at all, and her real dad would come looking for her. Whether he was someone who deserved her or not wouldn’t matter. I certainly didn’t feel like I deserved the somber and brave little girl I’d witnessed today.

I paced the room while we waited. Eventually, when I was just about ready to go in and make sure everything was okay, Addy came out. Her hair was wet, clinging to her face, and I wasn’t quite sure she had gotten all the shampoo out of it, but that was a problem for another day. She was wearing my T-shirt again, and she was shivering.

“Climb on in,” I said, pulling the covers back. “You’ll warm up right quick.”

As I pulled the covers over her, I noticed she’d repacked her backpack. All her belongings were inside it again. That hurt me in ways I wasn’t sure I could even speak about.

“Do you want me to read one of your books to you?” I asked.

She shook her head.

More pain spiked through me.

“I’m not as good as my brother at it, but I can read.” I tried to make it a joke, tried to keep my voice light like Mama had, and I was rewarded with a little twitch of her lips. But she still shook her head again. “Okay, well. Goodnight.” I ran a hand over her wet hair, and she withdrew into the pillow. My jaw clenched, but I pulled back quickly, stepping toward the door.

“Goodnight, Addy. I’m just one room over if you need anything. You can come get me or tap on the wall, okay?” Gia said. Addy nodded.

When I got to the door, I realized she might need a million and one nightlights, like my niece. “Do you want a light left on? We can leave the bathroom one on and shut the door so it’s sort of like a night light. We can get you one tomorrow.”

I was babbling. Like Mila or Mama.

She shook her head.

Okay, then. Dark it was.

“I know meeting me this way must be real hard, sweetheart, but no matter how it happened, I want you to know, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad to get to know you.” My voice was rough with unshed tears I hated showing in front of the calm brunette behind me.

“Papa?” God, that whispered word tore through me in a way I could never have expected.

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