And I meant it. I meant it with a surety that I’d go to my grave defending.
I could practically hear Gia’s voice in my head, telling me Addy wasn’t going to just trust what I said simply because I said it. I’d have to prove it to her. But hell, how did I do that?
“Are you hungry?” I asked, changing the subject until I could figure out the answer.
Addy nodded.
I breathed out, “Do you like grilled cheese?”
She nodded again.
“Well, okay, then. Let’s go get them before they cool off too much.”
I stood and offered my hand, but she didn’t take it. She pulled her hands back to her chest. I didn’t let it put me off. Slow and steady. Calm and sure, just like winning over a shy filly. One confident, trustworthy action at a time.
? ? ?
As we ate our sandwiches, Addy’s eyes kept drooping. Every time it happened, she squirmed on the barstool and dug her nails into her wrist as if forcing herself to stay awake. It made the food I’d eaten turn into a congealed mass inside me.
When she’d almost finished her sandwich, I said, “My parents—your grandparents—are coming to dinner. They want to meet you.” Her eyes grew wide. “I know you’re pretty tired. Maybe…shall we get you unpacked and then you could get a few hours of rest before they come?”
She fiddled with the last piece of her bread and then shrugged.
Gia took our plates and placed them in the dishwasher as if she’d lived in my house for years, and that thought stuck inside me right along with the congealed mass Addy had created.
The three of us made our way down the hall to the blue-cloud room. Addy unzipped the backpack and pulled a handful of items out, including another change of clothes and a bag with toothpaste, a toothbrush, and some hair care items. She watched me carefully as I helped her assemble the items in the walk-in closet and on the counter in the bathroom. The meager belongings looked pitiful, especially when thinking about them in comparison to Mila’s closet brimming with items at my brother’s place.
“You don’t have any pajamas. I can bring you one of my T-shirts for tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll go shopping.”
“I have to do a load of laundry myself. Maybe if you brought Addy the T-shirt now, I could wash what she has on with my things,” Gia offered. “Would that be okay?” she asked the little girl.
Addy didn’t look comfortable, but she didn’t say no.
“Let me get it,” I said, turning and jogging out of the room.
When I came back, the two of them were sitting on the bed with one of the books that had been in the backpack. It was a book I knew well from Mila. The Day the Dragons Saved the Universe was a favorite in my brother’s household, right along with The Day the Unicorns Saved the World.
“Your cousin Mila loves that book too,” I told her. She looked up at me wide-eyed. “You won’t meet her today. But soon.”
I handed her a long-sleeved T-shirt. She went to the bathroom with it and came out looking even smaller and more fragile dwarfed by my shirt. It fell almost to her toes.
Addy handed Gia the clothes she’d been wearing and eyed the bed. I pulled back the covers, and she crawled in. I wanted to brush her hair out of her face. I wanted to soothe her. Pat her. Hug her. Something. But she hadn’t even wanted to take my hand downstairs. So, instead, I put her backpack on the floor beside her and the books and her Switch on the nightstand.
When I turned back, she was looking at the windows, brows drawn together. The walls and walls of glass that made up my home were the exact opposite of what someone used to hiding would want. I pulled a remote from a drawer in the nightstand and hit a button. Shades rolled down from their hidden spot in the ceiling, dimming the room and keeping the outside world away.
“This button,” I said and showed her, “opens or closes the blinds.”
I set the remote with her things.
“I know you don’t know me, Addy. I know you don’t know this house or the people who live on the ranch, but I promise you, everyone you meet will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. You’ll be okay in this bed. No one is going to come in and take you from it. Nothing bad will happen to you while you’re sleeping. And if you go somewhere else in the house, if you hide again, it’s going to…worry me.” What I really wanted to say was it would piss me off, scare the shit out of me, and make me want to bring her mother back to life just so I could scream at her, but none of that would make Addy trust me.
In response, Addy slid down, dark hair resting on the pale-blue pillow. She pulled the covers up, and I barely stopped myself from tucking her in like a burrito in the way Mila loved. Maybe that would just make this little girl feel trapped.
I wanted to give her something to reassure her. To let her know I’d be there if she needed me. A lifeline of sorts. A phone. My mental shopping list grew. When Maddox had gotten Mila a phone when she started kindergarten, I’d rolled my eyes even though she only had our family’s numbers programmed into it and had no internet access. But now I understood why he’d done it.
Gia had already moved to the door, and I followed, glancing back and heart stuttering at the lost look on Addy’s face. She fought down her scared damn well, but it was still there in her eyes.
“Do you want the door open or closed?”