Page 90 of Disguised as Love

“We don’t have time for all the whats and whys and hows.”

“I hope you don’t think it’s for me, because we happened to screw each other’s brains out last night in the midst of stress and duress. I’m not the kind of woman who expects a ring on her finger and promise of forever just because I spread my legs.”

I crossed over to her, took her arm, and tried to twine our fingers together. “What if I’m that kind of a man?”

She laughed and jerked her arm from mine. “Then, you put your dick in the wrong person.”

I cornered her up against the wall, and her breath turned raspy. “Stop talking like that. As if we were some casual fuck. You and I both know it wasn’t. I have things to figure out, arrangements to make, but this…”?I flicked my finger between us?“is not over.”

“The op’s done, Malone. You won. My father’s world crumbled along with Volkovs’. Half the mafiya were blasted from this earth. You’ll get a medal for it,” she said, lifting her chin, and I saw the panic in her eyes then. She was lashing out at me because she was terrified of what she was feeling. I understood that fear. It was coating my insides because I was giving up everything I’d built for a gamble. For a risk that the flame and thread that bound us together proved we were something bigger. Not only that…I still hadn’t figured out how I could love her and keep her safe all at the same time. Last night, I’d stayed awake to make sure it happened. I couldn’t go the rest of my life without sleep, but I also couldn’t go the rest of my life without lying next to her, twining our bodies and souls.

A knock on the door drew us apart. Ito-san emerged.

“The helicopter is here,” she said, turning on her heel and walking back out.

I picked up the bag Raisa had filled. “You done with this?”

She didn’t respond right away, but then she nodded. We went back into the bedroom, I picked up my bag, and then followed as Raisa walked out of the room. I was in the same damn place I’d been ever since we’d started this charade. Following where she led.

Raisa

BE ON MY WAY

“And you don’t belong to me

You were never mine before

So it doesn’t need to be something more.”

Performed by H.E.R.

Written by Emile / Ashworth / Harris / Wilson

The helicopter took us to the international airport in Estonia where we boarded a private jet heading for Hawaii with a layover in New York. Mama wouldn’t leave Papa’s side. Malik acted as if nothing had happened, the sneer returning to his face and the cigarette holder being continually flipped. Ilia was in a drug-induced coma while Dr. Gerard made arrangements for him to have multiple surgeries once we arrived in Hawaii.

The two people who surprised me were Ito-san and Cruz.

I’d somehow expected Ito-san to disappear into the shadows once we’d hit safe soil in Estonia. But she paced the plane and checked in on Ilia more than I thought was normal.

Cruz kept his eyes glued to me, which wasn’t the surprising thing. I felt like his eyes had been on me since the night he’d shown up at my door. What had shocked me was hearing him say he was giving up his FBI career. He’d told whomever he was talking to that he’d found something he wanted more. It had taken my heart, frozen it, and then shattered it over and over again, because he had to know the truth. He could never be with me.

The one incredible night we’d had skin to skin, I’d allowed?I’d forced?because I’d thought we were going to die. I’d thought I’d seen the end flashing in neon letters before me, and I’d wanted one beautiful thing to be mine before it happened.

There was no place where a federal agent?former or not?could be with the daughter of one of the world’s most wanted criminals.

“What’s going to happen to you now?” Cruz asked my father who was lying on the couch with his head in Mama’s lap.

I stilled, wondering how Papa would react to Cruz even asking the question, but Papa didn’t seem the least bit upset.

“Manya and I will stay in Hawaii. It is a good place to retire, don’t you think, moy printsessa?” he said, looking up at Mama with a soft smile. Mama nodded, rubbing a hand over his cheek. Papa turned his head back to Cruz. “Malik will return to Europe once things die down some and continue to sell off our business interests to fund his new ventures.”

My breath caught. My family was trying to get out of the crime business? I wasn’t sure if they’d ever escape it completely, but my heart leaped at the idea of Papa even trying, at the idea of Malik having a chance at the life he’d been craving for so long. It hadn’t been fair that I’d been able to live my dreams while he’d been forced to live our father’s.

“Neither you nor Manya are allowed in the States,” Cruz reminded them.

Papa chortled. “It’s already been arranged. The information you have from Raisa’s locket in exchange for amnesty.”

Cruz’s eyes went wide, and I realized he truly didn’t understand how good my father was at what he did. How persuasive he could be. It wasn’t shocking at all that he’d arranged something with the U.S. government that Cruz, Mac, nor Georgie had been able to negotiate.

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