Page 78 of Disguised as Love

Clothes were torn and shed all while fingers and tongues and lips and teeth explored and marked, building the tension, growing it so we were both sweating and panting, and yet it still wasn’t enough. He dragged my lace underwear from me as he kissed every curve down my body, finding the core that ached for him with a tongue that had me gasping and curling my fingers into his scalp.

“O Bozhe,” I whispered. “Ne ostanavlivaysya.”

Begging him not to stop. To continue drawing me closer to the edge, to finish taking this ragged, furious ache and finally give me relief.

“Kakaya zhe ty chertovski sladkaya na vkus,” he murmured. The sweet and sexy words spoken in my own language caused me to explode around his fingers and tongue, shaking and quivering in a release that caused the room to fade away.

I’d barely come down when he returned his mouth to mine, plundering again. I wanted to laugh at having thought I’d be able to control this moment between us, that Cruz Malone would ever give in, but I didn’t even care. I was lost in him. To him. My legs went around his waist, drawing him closer, already seeking another release, needing to feel him inside me, filling me, chasing away the emptiness.

He surprised me by flipping us again so I was on top. He removed his lips from mine and searched my face with eyes holding so much fire I almost came just staring into them.

“You wanted this, little one. Take what you need.”

Those words?giving me the power?grabbed at one of the threads he’d so brutally wrapped around my heart and soul and drew it tighter. So tight I could barely breathe. So tight I was sure I’d have a permanent scar from where it crisscrossed over me. The marks he was leaving were a brand I’d never escape.

But I did exactly what he said. I led, and he followed.

He met every grind and lick and kiss with his own. When I finally went to slide my heat over him to drive us fully home, he stopped me with a hooded gaze that searched mine.

“I don’t have a condom.”

“I’m on birth control. I’m clean. I can’t imagine you, the perfectly disciplined agent, not being clean.”

He stared as if I’d said the dirtiest words that existed, and then he thrust into me, growling, “I’m clean.”

In that moment, with him filling me, it felt like I was finally complete. As if I’d been missing this my entire life. As if we’d always been meant for this. For him to be mine just as I was his. For these two mismatched bodies and lives to collide in just this way.

Cruz

COLLIDE

“Let me tell you with my body what I’m talking ‘bout.

I don’t care about the future or the past.”

Performed by Tiana Major9 with EARTHGANG

Written by King / Rotondi / Lopez / Fann / Barsh / Elise / Barthe

There was no way something so completely and absolutely wrong should have felt so completely and absolutely right. But making love to Raisa Leskov felt exactly that way. As if it was the true reason I’d become an agent. As if every single moment in my life had been built for this one action to become a reality. For me to be deep inside her and hear her soft cries and know that whatever else came after this, we belonged to each other.

The feel of her on me, beneath me, over me…it was enough to make me lose the last edges of my restraint. But I was determined to feel her walls shudder around me, to see her eyes dilate and her breath gasp as she quivered and shook again. I had let her guide our movements because I knew she needed it, to have this moment where she was in charge while her life spun out around her. But as I grew closer to losing it, I knew I had to take it back.

I sat up, and she gasped as it forced me into her more. I twirled my hand between us, and she moaned, thrusting against me, and then finally, I felt her body tremble and shake. I followed, letting go and experiencing the deepest, most earth-shattering release I’d ever had. My limbs quivered with it, and still, our bodies kept moving, eking out every last gram of pleasure.

When we finally stopped, she rested her cheek on my shoulder, and her golden hair that had come loose of its bindings spread across my chest. It hit me again, wrapped together like this, how tiny she was physically. She never seemed that way when she was in motion. She seemed powerful and strong, standing up to me and every other asshole who tried to make her submit. She seemed to take up all the air in the room when she was there, as if demanding we all bow to her will instead of the other way around.

She sighed, her breath coasting over my skin, and all I could think about was doing everything we’d just done all over again. Embedding myself into her and her life and her soul until there was no way to separate us.

Feet stomping down the hall on the other side of the door was a splash of ice water tossed over my thoughts. Over me. I leaped from the bed, almost flinging her across it. I shot to the dresser and yanked out a pair of sweats that I thrust my legs into as my heart beat out a rapid rhythm. Fear. Shame. Regret.

“Cruz?” Her voice had me darting a look at her. She was pulling the thermal shirt back on as she sat cross-legged on the bed. Gorgeous. Stunning.

I dragged in a ragged breath and looked away.

This was how I’d found them?my parents. Half-clothed behind closed doors. It was how the stalker had found them first.

The shot had gone off just as I’d reached the room. The killer hadn’t even realized I’d entered it behind him. He hadn’t expected a thirteen-year-old kid to be lying awake, watching the shadows as they passed his open door. I’d barely registered my dad on the ground when I’d grabbed the gun he’d always kept behind the dresser by the door. I’d taken the shot just as the stalker aimed at my mom. I’d shot with the intent to kill, just like Dad had taught me, but I’d been shaking so much that it had hit a lung instead of his heart. It hadn’t kept him from dying. It hadn’t kept him from gasping for breath as his chest filled with blood. But it also hadn’t stopped the racist slurs that had slipped from his lips as he died.

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