Page 48 of Disguised as Love

I nodded, unable to talk.

He reached for his wallet he’d discreetly slid into the front pocket of the leather jacket along with not one, but two phones. As he pulled out a black credit card, I halted him, finally finding my voice. “No, you’ll insult her.”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“That isn’t how it’s done here. She’ll send me a bill. Here, we are friends, not a client and a saleswoman,” I said quietly so Alexia didn’t hear.

“You’re not buying my clothes,” he said with a soft grunt.

“I’m not suggesting I do. You can pay when I get the bill if you like.”

Then, I walked toward Alexia, kissed her on both cheeks, thanked her, and headed for the door. Cruz thanked her as well, his deep voice rolling across the room before he caught up to me.

When we exited the boutique, the woman with the fur coat was gone, and I suddenly felt silly for thinking she was following me. We’d certainly had a tail from the estate into St. Petersburg, but maybe they’d lost interest in us during our shopping trip.

Cruz grabbed my hand and strode toward the exit. Once we emerged into the bright sunlight, I fully expected him to go to the valet stand, but instead, he moved down the street farther.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

He stopped, pulling me to the edge of the sidewalk, hand going around my waist again. It was so enormous it circled halfway around me easily.

He looked into my face and asked quietly, “What would the daughter of Manya and Petya Leskov do with her boyfriend in St. Petersburg? If we weren’t here for a funeral and you weren’t afraid of who was waiting for you at the house, what would Raisa do?”

I looked away from him, out to the street filling with tourists and residents. The sun was warm, the crowd buzzing with an energy that always filled the city during the summer?a hedonistic pulse that came from endless days and warmth that would disappear before September hit. How long had it been since I’d just been Raisa? Not a scientist with the world’s energy crisis weighing on her shoulders. Not a mafiya leader’s daughter who must know something. Not a tool to be maneuvered and used in a battle for what my father had left behind. I wasn’t sure I’d ever been just Raisa.

“Go to the Hermitage, eat at Sinyaya Dver', and dance until her feet gave out and the sun blinked for a moment before shining again in full force.” I said the words without knowing where they came from. Perhaps they came from someone sleeping inside me who’d craved for a long time to just be a normal person lost in a sea of faces.

“Then, that’s what we will do,” he said quietly.

“Why?” I asked, confused at this switch in him. Where was the hard-ass special agent determined to get what he wanted?

“Can’t I just want to?” he asked, and I heard the longing in his voice. Not for me, but for the same things I’d just wished for. Normalcy. A moment to just exist like everyday people. But I knew that wasn’t the reason, so I just glared at him, waiting for the real answer. He sighed, relenting. “It shows strength. They know that we know they’re following us. They want us to tremble with anxiety and return to the estate to do as they bid. So, traipsing around St. Petersburg as if we don’t have a care in the world…it’s a statement in return.”

“It’s like poking a lion with a stick.”

He shrugged. “If it forces them out of their cave, so be it.”

Sorrow trailed through me. Loss for something I hadn’t had and shouldn’t miss, but the tantalizing mirage of normalcy he’d shown me felt bittersweet as it disappeared from view.

“Fine.” I pulled out my phone and requested a CarShare to pick us up.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not traipsing around the city in these,” I said, pointing to the high-heeled boots. “And I’m not going to fight for parking at every stop we make. Plus, won’t this just keep them on their toes more?”

He looked around us surreptitiously, and I wondered who he saw, because I’d seen no one other than the woman in the fur. Then, he turned his eyes back to mine, and a large finger brushed a tendril of hair from my face.

“Show me St. Petersburg, little one.”

And God help me, I suddenly wanted to do that with every fiber of my being. Instead of letting him see how much it enticed me, I hardened my expression and my voice.

“On one condition,” I said.

He didn’t reply. He just waited for me to continue.

“Stop telling me what to do, and don’t you dare ever dismiss me again like you did at home. I don’t belong to you or anyone.” I lifted my chin and gave him the steely gaze that had caused many of my students to label me the ice queen.

“We have to play their game to catch them,” he said quietly.

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