Page 34 of Disguised as Love

Even in her drug-and-alcohol-induced state, Mama realized the tone and the look. She appeared panicked for a moment before tears filled her eyes. She shut them briefly, looking down again at the plate she’d hardly touched.

Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke. “I know. There are so many things he wouldn’t want that I cannot fix.”

Her eyes flitted to Cruz, and her momentary panic became my real one.

Rurik didn’t miss it, but he didn’t show his hand. Instead, he changed the subject, telling us of the plans he’d made for Father’s funeral.

“We will have his remains released to us soon. There are thousands of people who want to pay their respects to him, and it would be inconvenient for them to come here, so I’ve arranged for him to be presented at St. Isaac’s. After, he will be escorted by the Honor Guard Battalion to the cemetery where there will be a gun volley.

It was overdone, just like Malik had said to me outside earlier. Showy and ostentatious like everything about Rurik and nothing about my father. But we could do nothing but thank him for all he’d done, which I did.

Malik snorted. “You act as if he’s some dignitary who earned a military funeral.”

Rurik pinned Malik with a stare that was cold and hard, but his voice was warm. “Your father was beloved by the people. He was a savior and a humanitarian. Did I tell you of the time…”

And Rurik moved on, regaling us with Robin Hood tales from his and Papa’s youth. Schemes they’d gotten away with. How they’d helped people in their old neighborhood.

The more he talked, the more I ached for my father, and I could see it was pushing Mama further and further into the shell she’d resurrected around herself. I ate, but I wasn’t sure what. It was just enough to put food in my belly and make sure I didn’t faint or pass out again as I had when Malone had first found me.

When we finally left the dining room for the drawing room, Mama tried to retire, but Rurik insisted he wanted her company. So, Mama curled up on the couch, watching with a pained expression as Yano sat at a small table with a chessboard my father had loved.

“Malik,” Yano said with a wry grin, “want to see if you can finally beat me?”

Malik shook his head. “I need a smoke.”

He left, knowing Mama wouldn’t let him light a cigarette in the drawing room.

“Damien?” Yano asked.

Damien eased over to him, sat down, and then said, “I’d rather like to see what Woods can do in a game.”

The dare was thick in the air. Cruz, who had followed me closely into the room, leaned in to whisper, “Don’t leave without me.” Then, he turned to Damien and said carelessly, “Chess isn’t really my game, but I’m not opposed to playing.”

Yano wasn’t happy at being kicked out of his seat. “I think I’ll join Malik, then.”

He departed with a nonchalance that felt forced. I sat on a settee, hoping they would all forget me, but Rurik took the spot next to me even though he’d insisted he wanted Mama’s company. The wool of his pants slid along the bare skin of my legs, and I suddenly wished I’d worn something different. Slacks and a turtleneck. Any outfit that hid every piece of skin because I didn’t want him or his son to have the ability to touch my flesh.

Malone was in the chair facing me, and his hooded gaze journeyed from the board to me, as if to assure himself I was still in the room. It should have comforted me that he wanted me safe, but instead, I just felt like one of the pieces on the chessboard. I was being navigated around in a game I’d never liked and didn’t understand. I wasn’t even one of the stronger pieces. I wasn’t the rook, the knight, or the bishop, and I was nowhere near to being the queen. I was a simple pawn. One who could be sacrificed for the sake of a win.

Rurik tilted his head slightly to look me over, making my skin crawl as much as his son’s gaze had all through dinner.

“You’ve been gone a long time, Raechka,” he said. The sweet version of my name seemed so wrong on his lips. Like it had when he’d said it at his office. “You are doing great work with your nano technology. I have many companies that could help you, funding I can give.”

“I have plenty of funding, but thank you.”

He frowned. “Your homeland needs you. Your family needs you.”

I sucked in a breath, trying not to let him know he made me nervous. I didn’t know how to respond, but he didn’t seem to care. He continued with more words that filled me with dread. “Your father and I had great hopes our children would make us a family in reality instead of just in our hearts.”

My surprise was evident. I couldn’t hold it back. He patted my hands.

“It would be good. For all of us. For you and Manya… Even Malik would benefit from the help and guidance Damien could give as his brother-in-law.”

Malone’s words from this afternoon struck new fear in my heart. Rurik wanted me to marry Damien?to justify his takeover of everything my father owned. He didn’t trust Malik with it. Malik had failed Papa one too many times over the years, nearly getting me arrested, nearly getting himself arrested in some town in Connecticut a few years ago.

I tried to talk with a confidence I wasn’t feeling as I spoke a partial truth. “Dear Uncle, Father considered you a friend, but Damien…he was banned from our lives for a reason.”

Rurik chuckled, as if at a tiny child who was refusing to eat her vegetables. “Mistakes of childhood, Raechka. We all make them before we learn our truths. Some are unforgivable. Some are simply ones we must forget in order to find the right path.”

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