Page 28 of Disguised as Love

Footsteps on the stone path had me turning my head to watch my brother as he sauntered toward us. I was struck again at how thin he seemed. Like Mama. They were shadows of the people I used to know. Malik’s lips were turned up in that ever-prevalent sneer he’d perfected.

He wore brown leather pants, a pale-blue silk shirt, and a scarf that was a mosaic of bright colors. The cream jacket he had on was fitted but unbuttoned. It was flashier than I’d seen him in a long time. Our father had tried to shape him into a mold of himself, elegant and understated. But the more he’d tried, the harder Malik had fought against it.

“Sorry to interrupt such a cozy little tête-à-tête, but I need to know why the fuck you went to see Rurik,” he snarled in English, purposefully antagonizing me and Cruz.

Cruz tensed, and it only made Malik’s sneer deepen. He pulled out an old-fashioned cigarette holder from an inner coat pocket. It was thin and made of black pearl, modeled after the ones the ladies in the twenties used to use.

“You let him make arrangements for Papa’s funeral,” I said, pushing against Cruz’s chest. His hold loosened, but he still refused to let me out of his embrace completely. “I should be asking you what the fuck you were thinking.”

Malik watched us for a long moment before fitting the holder with a cigarette, lighting it, and blowing smoke upward into the blue sky. He raised a bony shoulder in a careless shrug. “He wants to spend a fortune to send Father off like he’s royalty, let him.”

“What do you mean?”

Malik laughed. “They’re treating him like some member of the Politburo. Gold-lined coffin, a parade with rose petals. The works.”

Papa had been beloved in St. Petersburg. He was known for donating heavily to charities, making sure his employees at the plant and his staff on the estate were taken care of as well as their families. If he heard of someone needing surgery, he made it happen. If he found out a school was short books, he bought them. I was sure much of the world thought it was so those people would owe him favors, so they’d be indebted to him, but I knew Papa didn’t want anyone to grow up as he had. Cold. Starving. Forced to crime to keep his brother and himself fed.

He’d only spoken of it once to me. When I’d asked about our grandparents and if we had family, he’d told me his brother had lost his life in the Gulag, and his parents had been dead since he was a teen. It was all I’d gotten from him. The rest I’d learned from others. Staff and friends and reading the papers.

“Papa would hate being in debt to him,” I said quietly.

Malik scoffed. “Rurik owed him. This is payment in kind.”

I flashed him a confused look, and it made Malik laugh sarcastically.

“You know so little, ‘Isa, it’s almost ridiculous. But let them all come and worship Papa. It will be the last time they get anything from the Leskovs.”

A tremor of fear returned to my body. Malik sounded like he was making plans. Dangerous ones.

“Rurik is coming to dinner,” I told him. “He asked that you be here.”

Malik tapped his cigarette against the stone fountain before darting me a new glare. “You invited him here? You have no right. This isn’t your home anymore. It’s mine.”

The coldness of his tone as much as the words stabbed at my heart.

“I didn’t invite him. I told him not to come, but he insisted.”

Malik cursed under his breath, turned on his heel, and started up the path.

“Malik?” I called after him.

He ignored me, picking up his pace and all but running toward the house.

I pushed away from Cruz, darting him a look. I brushed fingertips over my lips that still tingled. They felt bruised in a way that shouldn’t have been so delightful.

“Don’t do that again,” I said quietly.

He stepped toward me, and I stepped back. “Your mind may not like this pretend relationship, little one. But your body disagrees. You kissed me back. You kissed me like you’d been craving it?missing it?your whole life.”

My breath caught. I couldn’t afford to let his words wheedle their way into my heart and soul. I couldn’t like what he said, or the way he kissed, or the way he held me. I turned on my heel and headed toward the house. I had to get Mama up and dressed. I had to tell Liola to make plans for guests. I had to put distance between me and this man who, contrary to his words, was everything I couldn’t want and didn’t need disturbing my life.

Cruz

YOU CAN’T SAVE ME

“It’s all I ever fall for, the girl I’d lose it all for,

Yes, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with the right one.”

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