Page 21 of Disguised as Love

A small half-smile twisted her lips.

“You are even smaller than me, Raechka. You think you can carry these old bones?”

I pushed her hair out of her face. I was determined she eat, even if I had to have Ilia or Malone carry her down the stairs. My breath caught…Malone…she’d been waiting for me to tell her I had a boyfriend for years. I hadn’t wanted to pretend he was my boyfriend, but maybe it was a blessing. While it was a lie, it might drag her back from the edge a little. Enough to become the Mama I knew at Papa’s side. Strong and vibrant and beautiful.

“My boyfriend can do it. Easily. Probably one handed.”

“Boyfriend?” Interest flooded her green eyes so like my half sister, Georgie’s.

“He came home with me. Malik hates him, but Papa would like him.”

She scoffed. “Malik hates everyone. Everyone except his friend Yano.”

“Yano?”

She rolled her eyes. “Someone he met in the U.S. He’s been staying here for months.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “I think he’s on the run, and Malik is trying to protect him. They spend hours together, playing chess and plotting the way your father used to plot with Rurik…”

Her voice got garbled as memories flooded back in at the mention of Papa. I tried to hold onto her for a moment longer.

“Breakfast. Be ready, or…Antonne will take you down in your lingerie.”

I slid off the bed. I’d almost called him Malone. My pulse quickened because I wasn’t sure I could keep up the pretense without slipping. I wasn’t used to the cloak-and-dagger routine. I was used to being able to tell the truth. I know nothing.

Mama lay back, clutching her phone and a tissue to her chest. “It’s too much effort, Raechka.”

“I know, but you can’t stay here like this.” My voice softened. “He would hate it.”

Her eyes filled with tears, but this time, she held them back as she nodded.

I kissed her cheek and left to find Ilia waiting outside the door for me.

We traveled silently down the hall, across the landing, and to the wing of the mansion that had always been mine and Malik’s. Outside the doors to my room, I turned back to Ilia.

“You have to be exhausted. Go get some food and sleep. I’m safe here at home.”

Ilia looked both ways down the hall before returning his eyes to mine.

“I do not agree.” He registered my surprised look and continued, “All your enemies know you will be here.”

“But we have a million and one guards and security systems.”

“It only takes one who is willing to accept a bribe. I wait until…Antonne Woods returns.”

“Returns? Where did he go?”

“Jogging.”

I was barely able to keep on my feet, and Malone had gone out jogging. It was so ridiculous that I couldn’t hold back a garbled half-laugh. I turned toward the door and said, “Fine, but neither of you will be any good to me if you’re exhausted and hungry.”

“We will make a plan.”

I didn’t respond. I just entered the room I hadn’t been back to in almost two years. It looked exactly how I’d left it. Poppy red and royal blue softened by white wood and silver threads. Colors I’d always loved. The bed was calling to me. The sleep I’d gotten on the plane had been restless and haunted. I needed real rest as much as the men did, but it would have to wait.

Instead, I went into the bathroom, stripped off the clothes I’d had on for too many hours to count, and stepped into the hot shower. I let the water pound my shoulders as I tried to wash away the anger, fear, and loss that was weighing me down. I let a few more silent tears drift down my face before pushing them away and stepping out with new determination filling me.

I dressed in a black pantsuit that curved to every contour of my body with a blue silk top underneath it and heels that matched the shirt. I had no patience for my hair, so I drew it back into a chignon that sat low on my neck with a few tendrils escaping. I applied makeup with a light hand, unsure when the tears would overcome me again, and then stared in the mirror.

I looked like myself, and yet I felt nothing like me.

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