Page 40 of Disguised as Love

I ached to have Georgie at my side—the one person I always knew who was there simply because she loved me, because she wanted only good things for me. But Mama had been right. If they came, they’d be in the middle of this shitstorm—Rurik, and Damien, and whatever the hell was going on with Malik and his friend, Yano. I could guarantee the Volkovs would gleefully rub their hands together if they thought they had a chance to torture government secrets out of Mac. Before, Papa wouldn’t have let that happen. The entire bratva would have known Mac was off-limits. But Papa was no longer here, and even if Malik was strong enough to lay down a gauntlet, he didn’t care what happened to Mac. They’d always had an antagonistic relationship ever since Malik had left me holding a brick of his cocaine, and Georgie had almost taken the fall for it.

“She’s right,” I said softly. “Don’t come.”

Georgie was quiet. “It’s that bad?”

“Worse.”

“So, you’re getting the hell out of there? Coming home?” she demanded.

“After the funeral,” I said softly, and she grunted. I cut her off before she could object further. “I need a favor.”

“Anything!”

“I need you to find a way to get Mama into the U.S. for good.”

Silence on the other end.

“Malyshka, I don’t know if this is possible.” Her voice was torn with pain and longing, as if she wanted it as much as I did.

Cruz had said the same thing the night before, after he’d revealed to me his own twisted past and shown me the pain and loss he still felt over what had happened with his father. He was a man with so many layers I wasn’t sure I’d ever find the bottom of them. But what I had discovered was that he was a good man. A man driven by a need to keep people safe. He’d promised to find a way to help Mama, but I knew it would mean breaking rules. Rules he’d spent a lifetime upholding. It wasn’t fair of me to ask Georgie either, but if they both looked for a solution, maybe one of them would succeed.

“We have to try, Georgie. If not, she’s going to end up as Rurik Volkov’s wife, or mistress, or plaything. And I can guarantee, he will not care if she washes away in pills and alcohol as Papa did. She’ll die. She’ll be dead just like Papa…” My throat closed, emotions clogging it.

When she spoke again, her voice was choked as well. “I’ll try. I’ll talk to Mac and his family and Theresa. We’ll see if we can find a loophole somewhere.”

Not only was Mac in Navy Intelligence, his father was an admiral, and his grandfather was the campaign manager for one of the U.S.’s most powerful senators?a senator everyone thought might run for president in the next election. On top of that, Georgie’s boss, Theresa, was a lawyer who’d spent decades uncovering corruption and unraveling laws that went against human rights and the constitution. Between them all, they had to have someone who could figure this out, even if Cruz couldn’t get her in as part of my deal to find evidence against the bratva.

Just that thought made me want to throw up. I knew what the bratva did to rats. I knew the only thing keeping us safe every time any of us was hauled in for questioning was our silence…our repeated, “I know nothing.”

To do the opposite now?to sing from the rooftop anything I did know?it was terrifying. What I knew was basically zilch, and in order to come up with something, I’d have to poke and prod in ways that would make everyone suspicious. I’d have to start with Malik. I’d have to earn his trust, but I didn’t know if I could. It seemed too late to return to our childhood of whispered secrets.

Cruz entered the room through the hidden door. He was dressed in the same gray slacks as the day before, but he’d thrown on a black T-shirt instead of the button-down.

“I have to go, but please, please try,” I said to Georgie.

“I will. Keep yourself safe. Come home… I love you, malyshka,” she said, sounding as if she was crying.

“I love you, too,” I returned, hanging up before she caused the tears I was holding back to spring free.

“I need to go into St. Petersburg,” Cruz said. “I need to see…some people. And I need a suit. Some different clothes.”

“Okay,” I said.

“I’m not leaving you here, so I want you to come with me.”

“Wouldn’t it be better if I stayed here and tried to talk with Malik?” I asked.

He shook his head. “You can’t be that direct. You’re no use to your mother if you’re dead.”

He was right, but it also reminded me that I’d be of no use to him if I was dead. I couldn’t let the tender moments we’d shared the day before make me forget the truth. He was an agent charged with bringing down my family. No matter what he’d offered, he still wasn’t my friend.

“Let me change and check on Mama, and then we can leave,” I said.

I didn’t wait for his response. I left him standing there as I headed into the bathroom with a heart that was twisted and uncertain. I wanted to save Mama, but was I willing to sacrifice my brother, Papa’s name, and his friends to do so? I thought of the cold look in Rurik’s eyes and the creepy satisfaction in Damien’s, and it flipped my stomach. I would save Malik along with Mama if I could, but if he’d been responsible for Papa, I couldn’t protect him. He’d have to face those consequences.

I changed into jeans, thigh-high brown suede boots, and an olive-green sweater that I topped with a thick, cream-colored coat. I wasn’t going to show any more skin around the Volkovs. I left my hair down in long waves and added just a hint of makeup to my cheeks and eyes—enough to feel like I was going to meet the world’s expectations of Manya and Petya Leskov’s daughter without disappointing anyone.

When I came out, Cruz took me in from head to toe and swallowed hard. I wasn’t sure what it said about me that I liked making him uncomfortable. That I wanted him to feel the same aching pull that dragged at me whenever he was near. Maybe it just said I liked to play with fire as much as my brother.

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