Page 7 of Avenged

BREAK ON ME

“Put your head on my chest.”

“Come apart in my hands

Take as long as it takes, girl

Break on me.”

Performed by Keith Urban

Written by Nite / Cooperman

The barista called my name, and I grabbed the coffee cups from the counter and left. When I’d told Dawson I’d go grab food and caffeine for both of us, he’d barely grunted. He’d been focused on the TV with a headset on and a game controller in hand, head resting on the back of the chair that had always been mine. He was online with some of his friends from Clover Lake. He always got frustrated when he was on with them, so I didn’t know why he continued to torture himself.

It just reminded him of where he really wanted to be and why he couldn’t be there.

He wasn’t going to be happy when I handed him the job application I’d stuffed in the drawer at the house, either, but he had to do something other than eat, play video games, and pout. He was never going to get out of this dark space without a reason to do it. I knew that for the truth it was.

Back when I’d been flunked out of Professor Abrams’ class and had to stay at Texas A&M for an extra semester, I’d gone to a similar dark space full of anger, self-judgment, and self-pity. It had stayed with me for too long. It had followed me into the Coast Guard and to New York City. It had changed me into a man I’d hated more with every day that passed until I’d finally just let it go. Ava had helped me do that. My other best friend, Eli, had tried to get me out of the funk every single day for the three years we’d been stationed together in the city. But it wasn’t until I’d heard an apology from Ava, when she was the last one who needed to apologize, that I’d finally been able to let go of the anger.

I didn’t want Dawson to have to live with it for so long. I wanted to see him jerk himself out of the abyss way before that.

As I hit the corner and the bookstore Mandy ran, I couldn’t help my eyes journeying through the window to the register where I expected to see Jersey. With Mandy and Leena on their cruise to Panama, Jersey would be holding down the fort both at the store and at the house. So, I was surprised to see Violet behind the counter instead of her sister.

In the few months I’d been living in New London, I’d never once seen Violet work at the bookstore. She helped out at the house a lot, but her journeys into the public were always few and far between. It had something to do with an accident, and her losing her spleen, and their fear of her catching something her immune system wouldn’t be able to process. It wasn’t much of a life. I wondered, not for the first time, what had happened. No one had talked about the accident, but I understood it was the reason the two Banner women were on their own at such a young age. I assumed it meant their parents had died in the crash. But again, no one had really spoken about it, and I wasn’t jackass enough to ask and make them relive it.

I stood outside the bookstore while my emotions warred with my logical brain, wanting to know where Jersey was and why her younger sister was working for her. Wanting to just leave it alone because it wasn’t my concern. I had enough to worry about with Dawson. I didn’t need to shoulder their burden, too.

I looked down to where I was flicking my nails together with my right hand while my left held the tray with the drinks. I sighed and gave up. When I pushed the door open, the bell chimed, causing Violet to look up from the textbook she was reading. Her face turned into a smile resembling her sister’s. They were both stunning. Pale visions. Violet didn’t have the sprinkle of cinnamon across her face that her sister did, and her eyes were more purple than blue cotton candy, but they were alike in almost every other way.

“Hey!” she said.

“Hi, Vi.”

“Did you bring me coffee?” she asked, eyeing the cups in my hand.

“It was supposed to be Dawson’s, but I’m not sure he’ll miss it.” I handed her the cup. Her smile turned even bigger at the mention of my baby brother. She had definitely been hit with a teenage crush on Dawson. Thank God we’d moved out before it had turned serious.

“Thank you! I’ll pay him back. I’ll bring him coffee tomorrow.”

“Nah, he doesn’t need it.”

She shrugged, and I could see her wheels turning, as if I’d just handed her the perfect excuse to visit him. “He might not be there, anyway. I’m trying to get him an interview at the academy.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know Dawson was thinking about going to school.”

I chuckled. “No. He doesn’t have any interest in becoming a Coast Guard. I just meant a job interview.”

“Oh. I see.” Her face turned serious. “Maybe you could help me find a job there, too?”

I waved my hand around the bookstore. “This isn’t good enough?”

She smiled again. “This isn’t my job. This is Jersey’s. I’m just covering for her today. Shh. No one is supposed to know that.”

“Where’s Jersey?” I asked, a sense of disquiet filling me.

Her smile dimmed. “She’s not feeling well.”

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