Page 59 of Avenged

“Don’t you dare,” I said.

“What?”

“It’s my treat. I want you to enjoy yourself today. Just think of Di Felix and the plan you and Vi have made, and let go of everything else for at least one day.”

She searched my face for a moment and then smiled almost as if she couldn’t help herself, as if she was trying and still couldn’t. “I’m going to get to meet Di Felix!”

I was jealous of a woman I didn’t know. I was jealous that some remote comic book creator could bring that kind of smile to her face. I wanted to rip our stupid contract apart and put that smile there for another reason that had only to do with my body and my hands on hers. I looked down at her lips, but before I could even think about taking them with mine, she stood on her tiptoes and put those soft, pink curves to my cheek.

“Thank you.”

And then she moved away. I wanted to grab her hand again. I wanted to be joined somehow, but she was already hurrying toward Violet and Dawson, and I followed because nothing was going to stop me from seeing the joy continue to radiate from her.

When we got to will-call, it was Jersey who had to pick up the tickets because Violet wasn’t eighteen. She’d thought quick enough to give Jersey’s name instead of hers when she’d won. So, while the women went to get the tickets, they instructed us to go save spots in the line that must have been queuing for hours already. We were fairly far back with a half an hour to go before opening. Dawson waited with me. We weren’t watching the line we were in, though. We were both watching the icy blondes at will-call.

“It’s weird,” Dawson said after a minute.

“What is?”

He nodded his chin in Jersey and Vi’s direction. “She’s so serious; I would never have expected her to be giddy over comic books.”

It did seem almost counterintuitive to the somber, responsible Jersey who’d floated around since we’d arrived in New London. He hadn’t heard their story. I hadn’t told him because it wasn’t my place to tell, just like I wouldn’t tell his story. He’d have to do that if and when he was ready.

I nodded. “I think they’ve had more heartache than joy in their lives.”

Dawson looked down, hands in the pockets of his jeans, shoulders hunched slightly. My brother had had a lot of heartache, too. It had left its mark on him in a different way than the larger, more visible events Jersey and Vi had been through.

“But they're still happy,” he said, and he glanced up at me and then away, Adam’s apple bobbing.

“I think, hell, I’m not sure, but I think they both make a conscious effort to be happy.”

He nodded.

“Watching their struggles makes me feel sort of like an asshole.”

“Just sort of?” I teased because I didn’t want to see my brother pensive and hurting any more than I wanted to see Jersey that way.

Dawson flipped me the bird.

We stood there again, watching the blondes and waiting for their line to move so they would return to us. My heart clenched as I grappled with what to say to him, hating that I knew him so much less than the sisters knew each other.

“You haven’t had it easy, either,” I said.

“I had a roof over my head. I had Mom in her own flighty way. I had you. And I never wanted for anything physically—Dad made sure of that. He couldn’t have his only son walking around in two-year-old sneakers.”

My throat clogged. “You didn’t really have me. I left just when you needed me most.”

He looked up and then away again. “Nah.”

I wanted to say something more, but I didn’t know what. I didn’t know how to close the void that existed in our relationship. I wasn’t sure it could be done with words. I thought maybe it had to be healed with time and presence. Me being there now.

The moment between us was dissipated by Jersey and Vi bounding over to us. Jersey looked like she was about to fall over backward because of the weight of her backpack, but she was smiling as she held up badges and lanyards to us. They already had theirs around their necks. Hers was all twisted up at her neck below her ponytail. I lifted my hand, straightened it, and then tugged on the backpack.

“Give this thing to me before you break a bone trying to haul it around.”

“I got it,” she said, smiling.

“You’ll ruin his image if you don’t let him carry it,” Dawson said.

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