Page 49 of Avenged

I wiped at my face. I hadn’t known I was crying. “What can we do today?”

“I’m going to give you some ibuprofen injections into the muscles today, just to give you some relief. We can insert the IUD, and we’ll schedule physical therapy, which will help you teach your body to relax while stretching out the tense muscles.”

Now that I realized I was crying, I couldn’t seem to stop the tears. They were coming faster instead of slower. I wasn’t sure what I was crying about. Maybe for lost futures I hadn’t had a chance to even dream yet. Maybe the knowledge that this wasn’t going away. Maybe the permanency of what she’d said. Fear, relief, and sadness rolled together.

I was crying while she gave me the shots. I was crying while they inserted the IUD. I was crying when they were done.

“You can get dressed now. I’ll be right back in with some more information for you. Would you like us to bring your husband in?” the doctor asked.

I shook my head. Travis wasn’t my husband, but also, he was. Our situation was crazy. And knowing him, he would try to fix this, too, and this couldn’t be fixed. That knowledge just made me cry more.

She patted my shoulder again, and then she and the nurse both left the room. I got dressed and sat in the chair, trying to get my shit together. The Avengers theme blared from my phone, and seeing Violet’s face on the text message made the tears come harder. I missed her. I wished I hadn’t been so determined to do this alone.

VIOLET: How’d it go?

ME: Not cancer. Adenomyosis.

VIOLET: So, they put in an IUD? Did they talk about a presacral neurectomy?

Only Violet would know more about my condition than I did. I’d refused to acknowledge it, and she’d gone on to study it to death.

ME: Yes, to the IUD. Yes, Dr. Price mentioned it, but we’re trying this, pain meds, and physical therapy first.

VIOLET: Are you okay? To drive, I mean?

Which reminded me I wasn’t alone. Travis was there, and I didn’t want him to see me in a pile of tears, but I was still having a hard time controlling them. Dr. Chaos was still screwing everything up in my life, so I was left without choices…without my wishes being listened to.

ME: Travis is here.

VIOLET: What? Why?

ME: The Civic’s battery died.

VIOLET: Yay, Civic!

ME: Excuse me?

VIOLET: If I’d been there, you would have found some way to not let me come. You’d have some bullshit reason, like trying to protect me, and now you aren’t alone, so I’m glad.

ME: Don’t cuss.

VIOLET: ** eye roll emoji **

VIOLET: I’ll be home later tonight. I’ll get to hug you in person, but this will have to do for now.

VIOLET: ** Dean and Sam hugging **

The Supernatural GIF made my lips quirk into a watery smile, like she’d known it would.

I yanked a tissue from the box on the counter and started shredding it. So many things out of my control today. Things I couldn’t do anything about. But as I tore the tissue to pieces, I realized I couldn’t leave this behind me in my past like the other things the counselor had wanted me to leave behind. This would follow me into my future no matter how many pieces I pulled apart.

The door opened, and I didn’t look up. I sat, staring at the strips of white covering my lap. The nurse spoke gently. “Look who’s here.”

My head jerked up, and my eyes widened as I took in Travis. He was the personification of strength. Tall, muscled, handsome. And for some reason, it made the tears start all over again, for no reason I could explain to myself or anyone in the room. His eyebrows drew together in concern, and he strode the two steps it took in the tiny room to reach me, squatting down at my side.

The nurse behind us said, “I’m just going to leave you two alone for a minute.”

“Are you hurting?” he asked.

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