Page 47 of The Right Kind of Wrong

CHAPTER 17

Evelyn

“Stroke symptoms typically include dizziness, difficulty speaking, numbness on one side of the body,” the doctor explained. He'd been explaining to us for the past ten minutes my grandmother's condition. I kept zoning out until he said the last part.

“Trouble speaking?” I asked, my voice sore from the crying all the way to the hospital.

“Yes. In your grandmother's case, her stroke was major.”

I shuddered, remembering the brief conversation I'd had with Nana that morning. She'd mentioned that she felt odd, but she seemed happy. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she had sounded different. I took a seat in the cold, hard chair in the waiting room while the doctor continued speaking to Hannah and Nathan. Carter walked up to me, placing a hand over my shoulder.

“…brain has swollen and we can do surgery to attempt to correct it but…the ventilator is breathing for her and at this point, it is best for her medical power of attorney to step in, make a decision, unless she has a living will. Does anyone know if she has either of those?”

There was silence until I heard Hannah speak up. Her voice was so business-like. Emotionless. I couldn't believe it. Nana was lying on a bed and she didn't seem to care.

“I've called my mom and dad, maybe they know.”

Carter cleared his throat and I looked up, his sad eyes glancing over at Nathan. He nodded before addressing the doctor once again.

“Give us a few hours before the rest of the family arrives so we can make a decision,” Nate said.

The doctor nodded.

“Can we see her?” I asked softly.

It took a bit of convincing, but about half an hour later I was walking into the room in which Nana rested. There were tubes everywhere and she was so pale she didn't even look like herself. I crossed my arms over my chest. The room felt cold, lifeless.

“Here,” the nurse said, pushing a chair up next to the bed. “Take a seat. Only two people can be in here, okay?”

I nodded, giving her a small smile. My parents would be at the hospital in an hour or so and though typically I would dread their visit, I needed my mom. I needed a hug. I needed my dad to comfort me.

The sun outside still shone bright but everything in me, surrounding me, was darkness. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no ray of sunshine in the middle of the storm. It was the type of pain that was all-consuming. She had been fine.

Placing my hand over hers, I sighed, kissing it.

“Nana, you can't leave,” I begged. “I just came back…you can't leave.” I sniffled, trying my best not to cry. I had heard that people in comas or in states like this could sometimes hear what you told them. If it was true, I didn't want her remembering me crying. She should wake up and be proud of me for remaining strong. I'd be strong for her. Hell, I'd leave the house and move in with her as soon as she woke up because she would wake up. She had to. “Please Nana, get better and we'll spend every day together, I promise. Just wake up, please.”

“You know you're the best example I have. The family is barely holding together. If you go…if you leave, it'll all fall apart. I need your advice, Nana. Especially with everything going on so please, wake up.”

My resolve was breaking so I stayed quiet, laying my head on the hospital bed, holding her hand tightly. She wasn't gone but I felt like she wasn't there anymore. The essence of her had disappeared. It shouldn't have, the monitor above me told me that her heart was still beating but I couldn't feel her.

I refused to give up.

“It's always going to hurt.” I didn't look up. Carter's soft footsteps entered the room, cautious and gentle, as if afraid of scaring me off. “When you lose someone, it stays with you forever. Time goes by and ironically enough with each passing moment more memories come to life.” I felt his hand on my back, comforting me. “You'll remember things that you didn't think mattered, miss those things. Wonder how things could have been different.”

“She sounded different.” I couldn’t hide the regret in my voice. “I should have known something was off. Maybe if I would have gotten there before I could have helped her. We wouldn't be in this situation.”

“But you didn't know,” he countered.

Carter's hand held mine and Nana's, the saddened touch making me whimper. “Come here, dear,” he said.

I stood up, letting him pull me into his fatherly embrace. Only then did I let go, the grief taking over.

“There, there,” he said softly, running his hand down my back soothingly. “It's okay. It'll be okay. No one is ever ready for these things but you're strong enough to get through it. You're not alone, you hear me?”

I nodded, leaning my head against his chest. He was sad too, she was his friend and lover after all. They'd been companions for years and now that had been taken away out of nowhere. It wasn't fair. Life isn't fair. We were giving up on Nana though when there was still a chance, we couldn't do that to her, not when there was still hope that she'd wake up.

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