This would only hurt me in the end, I realized that. However, I wanted to be with him, feel him easing my worries and concerns because ironically enough, even though he was the cause of my pain, he was also the only one that could take it away.
His lips latched on to my neck and he ravished me, his thrusts deep and slow, making sure I memorized what he felt like inside me. He didn't realize that I'd never forget it; that I dreamt about being in his arms like that every night, wished for him every day.
When his finger found my clit, I bucked against him, moaning loudly as he flicked, working the swollen bud with one goal in mind. I tightened around him, throwing my head against the wall as the waves of pleasure washed over me without mercy.
“Nathan,” I cried out, not giving a damn about who could hear us. He followed soon after, burying his face in my neck as he released inside me, his thrusts becoming short and erratic. Not wanting the moment to end, he leaned down and kissed me, desperate to prolong it as much as possible.
I whimpered, not out of pleasure but because it was then that all the emotions decided to reappear. A single tear left my eyes and Nathan broke off the kiss, regret in his. He swallowed thickly, resting his forehead against my own.
“I'm sorry, Evie,” he sighed, shaking his head sadly. “I—”
“Just…don't,” I replied, forcing myself to keep it together, at least while in front of him. He lowered me to the floor and I immediately picked up my discarded panties and locked myself in a stall. I wiped away the evidence of what we had just done and put my underwear back on, eager to make a run for it if need be.
Taking a deep breath I stepped out of the stall, only to find Nathan leaning against the counter with his gaze lowered until he saw me. There was no masking the pain he felt but I was far too hurt and angry and ashamed to care.
“Evie, we need to talk.”
“There is nothing to talk about,” I hissed, walking towards the door. He stopped me, placing his hand over it so I couldn't open it.
“Yes, we need to talk about what just happened.”
I shook my head, laughing humorlessly. “Nothing happened.”
“Evelyn—”
“It was nothing but a quick fuck in a dirty restroom in a bar,” I snarled.
“That's what this was to you?” he asked with a pained look.
No.
“Yes.”
He pushed himself off the door, his lips pressed together into a thin line. I half expected him to argue with me, to say something hurtful back, but he didn't and simply leaned back against the counter.
It took me a minute to realize that he was waiting for me to walk out so that others wouldn't suspect of what we'd just done. He was protecting me.
With blurry vision I turned around and walked out of the restroom, letting the door close behind me. A quiet sob left my lips as I took out my phone, typing a quick message to Jenna letting her know that I was leaving. I couldn't be there anymore. I was on edge, my emotions were all over the place.
Some would call this running perhaps, but I didn't know what else to do. I never was one to run yet for the first time in my life, I had no clue what to do. I had no one to help guide me and my heart truly ached. I was heartbroken.
I was so in love with a man that I knew from the start I would never have and now, well, now I was paying the consequences of my actions.