There were so many things going through her mind; I could tell by simply looking at her. She had questions, things to say, and things to figure out. But as she looked up at me, there was one thing that stood out from the others.

She needed me.

I kissed her again, this time passionately, trying to take away her fear, her sadness. She gave into me, arching her back off the bed, her fingers digging into the skin of my back.

She removed her bra, and I lowered her panties, followed by my sweatpants.

“I love you,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“I love you too.”

There were two time periods in my life: before and after Evelyn. Before her, nothing mattered. Now everything mattered because of her, our baby.

My hand lowered between her legs as I kissed her neck, hearing her soft sigh when I touched her. Her little sounds of satisfaction filled up the room as my finger entered her, preparing her for me.

I took the image of her flushed face, eyes staring back at me with love and wonder while I strived to give her pleasure, help her forget.

Evie bit her lip as I positioned myself on top of her, and when she felt me, another gasp escaped her lips as I began stretching her out. She threw her head back, her eyes fluttering closed as she surrendered to what she felt.

She was fucking beautiful.

Breathtaking.

Perfect.

You could find meaningless sex with anyone, anywhere. But finding the person you were connected with on every single level was difficult.

Once you found it, you couldn’t let it go.

I’m never letting her go.

***

I ran my fingers down her arm. It was already a little past noon, and Evie still showed no signs of waking up. She was exhausted. Everything that happened the past days, the flights, the paperwork, the funeral had all been draining for her.

I had doubts regarding Derek and her interaction with him, but it wasn’t the moment to discuss that yet. I understood that to some level it was normal for her to be confused; I just didn’t know what she was confused about. With doubts of my own, I stood up, needing some air to clear my mind.

No matter how quietly I attempted to leave the room, however, it wasn’t enough.

“Are you going to leave me too?”

Evie’s sleepy voice invaded the room, and though it could be a question that only applied to that precise moment, I knew it held a deeper meaning. When I turned around, her eyes were still closed, squeezed shut as if terrified to open them. I sat back down, taking her hand in mine.

“I’m just going out for a run,” I replied, avoiding the question.

“That’s not what I asked,” she whispered, shaking her head.

“What makes you think that I’ll leave?”

Evelyn shrugged, lips tilted up sadly. “I’m a mess.” Her voice broke, a clear sign that she was barely keeping it together.

I crawled into bed with her once again, kissing the tip of her nose. She swallowed as she opened her eyes full of tears. I waited until she looked at me to answer her question. She needed to know I was sure about her, about us, and about the family we were forming.

“You’re pregnant, and you just lost your mother, Evie. You have all the right to be a mess, and I’m here next to you, for you, whatever you need,” I said. She nodded, placing a kiss on the palm of my hand. “I’m always here for you, baby.”

“It hurts.” She paused, dreamy eyes taking in her surroundings for a moment before she spoke once again. “But you make it better. I want you to know that.”

When we received the cancer diagnosis for my mother, I fucking went insane, to the point of marrying Hannah, to the point of staying with Hannah despite how toxic it was. I didn’t know what the hell I did, and my mom was still alive. Granted, my relationship with my family had always been healthy. I couldn’t even begin to imagine all the unanswered questions Evelyn had for her mother.