Page 122 of The Wrong Side Of Us

The commotion around me faded out as I gripped my hair tightly, pulling at it, and I blinked once, twice until I realize I couldn’t fucking see through the tears. I was losing it, losing control, and losing the woman I loved, my child.

That’s when I saw him.

A couple of officers dragged Josh out of the building, and he smiled. The bastard, that fucker was smiling.

I snapped.

I shoved past the officers in my way, past the paramedics, not thinking about anything but getting my hands on him, killing him with them.

“You motherfucker,” I roared, my hand gripping his throat, catching the officers off guard. I heard the cocking of a gun, commands surrounding me while someone else’s hands attempted to hold me back, but rage made me stronger.

“She’s—” Josh attempted to say but failed as my grip tightened.

“Stand down,” I heard behind me. “Nathan, stand down,” Derek repeated, pulling me away from Josh. “We need to get to the hospital.”

He was right; I knew that. But this, this was all his fault. I glared at him, holding on to my anger for fear of feeling anything else.

***

Being in a hospital is like being in a state of limbo.

To live or die?

The memories of every single second lived with the person I loved replayed.

Everyone’s eyes were on me, my dad’s, my mother’s…Carter’s, Derek’s…Damian’s. I laughed humorlessly, shaking my head. Evie had felt so lonely; if she could only see everyone there for her, waiting to hear whether she was okay or not, hurting for her. But she couldn’t.

She deserved to know. She deserved to see this.

It’s was like awaiting my execution; I knew if she lived, I would too, but if she didn’t…My chest constricted again, trying to remember how to breathe. We were so close to obtaining a future together, to building our life, raising a child.

In all the time, the century that I waited there, there was one single regret I had. One that hurt and gnawed at me, tearing at the bits of sanity that I had left.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I didn’t bother turning to see who it was. If there was anyone else full of regrets, I knew it was Derek.

“I fucked up,” he whispered, his voice pained. “I’m sorry, Nathan.”

I shrugged. “I’m sure she’s already forgiven you.”

He scoffed, shaking his head as he took a drink of water.

Meanwhile, my mind raced. In a situation like this, the memories took over, drowning me in the sorrow of the plans, the wishes we had. The dreams I didn’t know would come true anymore.

“I didn’t have breakfast with her this morning,” I muttered, my throat closing as the words left my lips. Derek furrowed his brows. “I was in a hurry and didn’t eat breakfast with her. She likes when we eat together…and today we didn’t. I failed her. Evie and our baby…I failed them. I shouldn’t have left.”

He didn’t reply. I glanced over at Carter. His face was in his hands and his shoulders shook slightly. He loved her. Sure, he cared about me, but Evelyn was his daughter, blood or not, and he’d watched her grow up.

I stared numbly at the clock in front of us forever, waiting. Waiting for them to tell me whether my life was over or whether there was any ray of fucking sunshine, because I didn’t see it. I couldn’t see. The pain blinded me. The inability to do anything to help. I couldn’t see or hold her, didn’t know if I would again.

A door opened, and everyone lifted their faces, not just the people there for Evie, but others, waiting for answers on their loved ones. But the doctor looked at me.

“Can I talk to you in private?”

Fuck.

Fucking hell.

I shoved my hands deep in my pockets so no one would see how badly they shook, but I knew I couldn’t hide the pain in my eyes. My mom walked up to me, lacing her arm with mine. A mother’s comfort always helps, but not in this case.

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