Page 9 of The Wrong Side Of Us

Evelyn had the same problem. Our “friendship” had allowed for her to feel free to speak openly about whoever she was seeing, and she was never happy.

It was sad to see that a once-energetic and pure-hearted woman had changed completely. More than anything, it was sad to see that she had allowed herself to change so much. The woman I loved, she was there still somewhere. I couldn’t force her to come out, though. It was up to Evie, only her. No one could decide her happiness.

She looked down, trying to avoid a confrontation. I didn’t know how to get rid of the fear she felt, but what I did know was that with her pushing me away, it would be difficult to regain her trust.

She was better than this fear of hers. Stronger. I didn’t want her to keep living this way, even if we didn’t end up together. I wanted to see her happy, truly happy, like I’d seen her before.

I gripped her chin, not harshly, just enough to get her attention and get her to look up at me. “So what’s it going to be, Evie? You going to woman up and face reality or are you going to keep hiding?”

Shaking her head, Evelyn maneuvered her way out of my grasp and pushed me away from her. I got the message and stepped back, allowing her to jump off the entry table.

As if I hadn’t seen her many times before, she held the blouse I’d ripped tight around her body and began pacing. Her eyebrows furrowed, and the lipstick she had been wearing when I got here was smeared.

“I don’t understand how you think you can appear out of nowhere and just force me to make a decision,” she finally said. Though she tried to sound confident, I could clearly sense the distress in her words.

She picked up the rose that I had brought for her and fixed her gaze on it. Anything to not look at me.

“I appeared out of nowhere?” I asked, staring at her. “I don’t think I appeared out of nowhere, Evelyn. We’ve tried this whole being friends thing for over a year now, and it’s fucking clear as day that neither of us has moved on.”

“You don’t want to be my friend anymore?”

I saw the way her eyes took a pained look and quickly realized she didn’t get it.

“I can be your friend, yeah. I just don’t want to be only your friend, Evelyn.”

“So is this an ultimatum?”

A tense silence surrounded us. I wouldn’t exactly use the word ultimatum with our situation, but I did need to know whether there was a future with her. If all she wanted from me was a friendship, then so be it. I would be there for her; I wouldn’t refuse. But waiting around, hoping one day she opened her eyes and realized she still loved me, was no longer an option. Not when I saw her trying desperately to find happiness where we both knew she wouldn’t find it.

I was the first to admit our relationship hadn’t started in the best of ways; I had been the married one, but all that was in the past now. Maybe that was the reason it didn’t work out in the first place. However, now we had the chance to start over, and we were both letting it slip by.

“For our relationship, yes,” I finally answered her question. “I’m always going to be here for you. I’ll always be your friend, Evie. I just need to know if you see a future between us.”

She shook her head slowly. “I don’t know why you’re pressuring me to decide—”

“Don’t do this,” I said, stopping her. “I’m not pressuring you, Evelyn. It’s been over a year. A whole fucking year. You said you were trying to figure out what to do, how to find yourself, and I don’t know what other bullshit. All I see is you losing yourself even more. Maybe it’s not something you should do alone.”

“You don’t know—”

“No. I don’t. But fuck, Evie. Let me help you. We can figure it out together.”

Evelyn sighed, shaking her head slowly. “Can we just eat, talk about this later?”

I agreed, only because I saw she was starting to get overwhelmed. I didn’t want to scare her off, but I wasn’t budging. This was something we had to discuss.

The time for waiting was over.

She went to her bedroom to put on another shirt while I went to the kitchen and started serving the Chinese food she’d bought.

Smiling weakly, she sat across from me, but I knew her better than she even knew herself. Not even looking at her food, Evelyn reached out for my hand. I took it gladly, running my thumb over her knuckles.

“I’m scared, Nathan. You deserve that girl, the one who wasn’t fearful of getting hurt, that didn’t doubt everyone. I’m not her anymore, and I don’t know that I can go back—”

I shook my head. She didn’t get it. Evelyn had always been stubborn, but in that moment, she wasn’t comprehending what I was trying to say.

“I’m not asking you to go back to who you were, though I know she’s in there somewhere. I’m asking you to let me help you, to let me be here for you. I won’t say how I feel about you because at this point it’s only going to scare you, but you know exactly how much I care for you. Don’t push me away. I can help you. I want to help you.”

“I don’t know why I can’t figure this out,” she finally whispered.

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