Page 65 of The Wrong Side Of Us

I never realized how much I could miss someone even when they are in the same house. We were together, but we weren’t.

With both our minds made up, Nathan and I barely spoke. Hormonal and pissed off, I wasn’t sure I wanted to touch the subject. I was afraid that if I did, I would say something else I would regret or end up crying. I was tired of being angry, tired of being sad.

There’re bad patches in all relationships.

I kept repeating those words in my head, though I wasn’t sure how much I believed them. I wasn’t sure how long this bad patch would last for us.

It was heartbreaking to go from being in a loving relationship to being a complete mess.

I felt like a burden. With my mood swings and my hormones all over the place, I felt like he was getting tired of me.

One day, Nathan left to work early. Jessica and he had been running another exhibition at the gallery, which kept him busy—a good thing considering our arguments. Being away from the tense environment in the house relaxed him. But I, I was feeling extremely lonely. It felt like the walls in my own home were closing in on me.

I longed for him.

My fifteen-week belly kept growing and growing, and I just felt needy. I needed a hug, just his hand on my face…a smile. God, I missed his smile.

The day he was busiest, all the emotions decided to appear, overwhelming and suffocating me. I blinked away the tears, cursing myself for ruining my perfectly done eyeliner and reapplying it, hoping it wouldn’t become a mess.

I left the house with nothing but my cell phone and a credit card that day, in case I needed to buy something, and decided to just walk. My head needed clearing; I needed the clouds that followed me to disappear.

I found myself at the park yet again, the place that Derek had taken me to. The sax player was there, this time playing relaxing music, and I sat by a fountain nearby, closing my eyes and letting the sun fall on my face. I rested my hand over my belly, and I didn’t have to open my eyes to know there was a beautiful sky over me.

I didn’t have to open them to sense him there, either.

“You look beautiful today.”

I opened my eyes slowly, taking in the image of Derek in front of me. Blinking away tears, I swallowed thickly, something he noticed just as fast. He took a seat next to me and sighed, also troubled.

“Are you okay?”

I shook my head no, not turning to look at him.

“I think Nathan and I are over.”

He stiffened beside me.

“Why do you say that?”

Glancing at him, I decided to tell him the truth. “Because he doesn’t trust you.” Green eyes dimmed with shame, but I continued. “The thing is, I can’t stop talking to you. I keep defending you as if I knew you, keep fucking up my relationship over someone I don’t know, and it hurts.”

Derek looked down to his hands, lost in his thoughts for a moment. He seemed regretful. I wiped away my tears, an action that caught his attention. His eyes roamed my face briefly, uncertainty coating his expression.

Until he raised his hand to my face, cupping my cheek oh so gently. A sad smile formed on his lips.

“He’s right,” he whispered. “I’m the last person you should trust.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure anymore.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I had one thing in mind when I met you, but…it’s all changed. You’re a good person. You don’t deserve what I vowed to do.”

Now it was my turn to evaluate him. He was telling me the very last thing he should be saying, but there he was, being honest with me. He gauged my reaction before continuing.

“There’s things I can’t tell you yet because I’m trying to get out of them, but please, Evelyn, I know you have absolutely no reason to believe me, but I don’t want to hurt you.” Pleading, he took my hand in his, looking at it thoughtfully. “Give me a few weeks, please.”

“What did you vow to do?” It was a stupid question I already knew the answer to. Still, I asked.

Derek didn’t want to answer. Instead, he stared at our still-connected hands, as if it was the most wonderful thing ever. I broke off the spell, removing my hand from his abruptly.

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