Page 56 of The Wrong Side Of Us

I’m sorry I wasn’t the daughter you wanted.

The doctor pulled back the sheet, revealing my once put together mother, bruised and battered. Busted lips, her head wrapped up in a bandage.

Vaguely, I heard the doctor speaking, saying that he’d give me a moment, but I didn’t need a moment.

I needed a whole lifetime.

“Mommy,” I whispered. “How did we end up like this?”

I ran over to my mom when she arrived. Hannah had already greeted her; it was my turn now. She barely noticed me when I got there, but as I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her body, she had no choice other than to hug me back.

She laughed.

“What is up with you, Evelyn? Always running around and playing. Did you behave?”

“I always behave, Mom,” I replied.

She was in a good mood. I looked up at her to meet her smiling face. Mom never smiled at me this way, and yet here she was today, smiling down at me like I made her happy.

“Can we go to the park?” I asked, taking her hand in mine. She frowned, shaking her head slowly.

“I have to teach your sister a few things about the company today, Evelyn. Maybe some other day. For now, go on to your room and play. I’ll come get you when I’m done.”

Some other day.

That was more than I had ever gotten from her…

But the day never came.

My lip quivered as I raised my hand slowly to her face, running my fingers over her cheek.

“In another lifetime, I might have been more like the daughter you wanted,” I murmured. “You could have even loved me…”

***

The next two days went by in slow motion. I never knew preparing a funeral could be so time consuming and infuriating. Nathan tried to help as much as he could, but I wanted to do everything.

My mom hadn’t been the best, but I still wanted to give her a decent send off.

The judge approved Hannah’s permit. She’d be at the funeral for my mom, though a guard would always be with her and she would remain handcuffed. No one could speak to her, either; there would be no interactions.

I smoothed down my black dress, taking in my pale appearance. I’d straightened my hair for the occasion, but who really knows what you should look like for a funeral?

Who the hell even cares?

Mom did.

“Are you ready?”

Nathan had been there every step of the way, every single second of every day since they told me. But I was just…numb to everything. It was harder to process everything this time; maybe it had something to do with being pregnant and being in charge of the arrangements. Maybe it was the circumstances.

Knowing that no one would be there for her funeral was also very painful. No one loved her. No one cared. What a lonely way to die…

“I guess we should get going,” I said quietly.

Even when I arrived at the funeral home, the differences between my mother and I were visible. She would have wanted extravagant; I gave her simple.

She’d judge everything, from the few flowers to the lack of people.

---