Page 110 of The Wrong Side Of Us

“You’ve always been so headstrong.” She smiled. “So brave. Never cared about what anyone thought about you. Courageous. You never gave up and were always happy despite the way our family was. I was never able to do that, and I was a horrible sister, I know it, but I always admired your freedom. You are everything I wish I could have been.”

“Then why did you hurt me so much?”

“I was a coward,” Hannah replied. “I was stupid and selfish, reckless.”

“I always…I always wanted you to be my big sister.” I’d finally said the words I longed to say out loud most of my life.

I’d always wanted a family.

Always wanted unity.

Love.

But I would have settled for my sister’s love.

I never had it.

Always wished for it.

It never came.

“Mom didn’t care for me, so I wanted you to say happy birthday to me…or Merry Christmas. I wanted someone to care. No one was there for me, and Nana probably pitied me and—”

“Stop saying that,” Hannah said sternly. The conviction in her voice made me shut up. “Nana adored you, Evelyn. She loved you with all her heart. Mom and I, we deserve your anger but not her. She was the one person that was always sincere with you.”

“She never told me,” I cried, shaking my head. “No one ever told me the truth. The one thing I wanted, the one thing I needed, was taken from me.”

“She didn’t have to tell you because she was your grandmother. She loved and cared for you, so there was no reason for her to tell you otherwise.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nathan always thought I had feelings for Derek, and I did but could never explain it…God, this is all such a mess.”

“He’ll understand,” Hannah said. “He loves you. He’ll understand. You need to talk to Derek and—”

Another pang of pain.

Another blow.

I’m going to go crazy.

“I can’t,” I whispered, failing at keeping my composure once again. “He’s been badly hurt. He’s in a coma.”

The person in front of me transformed. Hannah had been crying, but as the words left my lips, all color drained from her face; her eyes turned from hurt to completely and utterly despaired. “What?”

“He’s unconscious. Whoever placed the ‘hit’ on me hurt him when they found out he wasn’t going to follow through.”

Biting her lip, Hannah tried to hold back a pained whimper.

A long moment of silence surrounded us, one that was heavy with sorrow, heartbreak. Our lives were cursed from the start. It was too late to fix it now. We were strangers to each other, and the hurt, it was too strong. Too much.

“I’m sorry.”

My head snapped in Hannah’s direction, eyes wide with surprise.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated once again. Her hand went up to my face, wiping away a tear. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, for everything I did. I hope you can forgive me one day, although if you don’t, I’ll understand. Tell Nathan I’m sorry too. And if Derek wakes up, you tell him that I’ll always regret hurting him, but he has his little sister back. It’s his job to take care of you now, and I know he’ll do that job just fine.”

No.

Why is she saying this?