Page 109 of The Wrong Side Of Us

My hand went to my belly, wondering how a mother could do that to her child. I didn’t think I could ever have the heart to abandon my baby, no matter the circumstances.

I had questions, but unexpectedly, Hannah changed the subject. “Our mom always wanted a kid after I was born.” I tilted my head in question at the statement. “But there were issues when I was born, and having another child became too risky, so they never conceived again.”

My heart thudded in my chest.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I whispered, moving my hand away from hers.

Hannah wiped away a tear. “I vaguely remember because I was five or so, but I remember Grandma telling Mom adopting was an option. Ironically, that morning, a one-week-old newborn was left at a fire station. Due to safe haven laws, the mother wasn’t prosecuted. Nana told my mom it was a good opportunity to adopt the baby, and they went to learn more about the process. Nana fell in love with the little girl from the moment she saw her.”

“I don’t understand.”

I refused to understand.

Hannah swallowed. “Yes, you do.”

I let out a shaky breath, my hands trembling with emotion. All my beliefs, all my life was starting to crumble before my eyes, and trying to hold it together wouldn’t work.

“You’re lying.”

“It was a crazy few days,” Hannah murmured. “Then the days became months, years…but Mom never was the same. Her relationship with the baby never improved. Dad was miserable and felt guilty. So they both buried themselves in work, never confronted the situation at home. Then I grew up feeling guilty, too, because giving birth to me took away Mom’s dreams of having a big family, so I did everything to please her, things I shouldn’t have. I turned into her.”

I stared blankly at Hannah, still trying to process everything she was telling me. I kept telling myself it was a nightmare, that it wasn’t true. It had to be another one of her lies, another plan of hers to hurt me, but deep in my heart I knew. Deep in my heart, it all made sense to me. That didn’t stop the pain from snowballing, the years of rejection, years of lies, years of remaining in the dark.

“After a while, I put two and two together. I talked to Derek one last time to confirm the day that his little sister was born, moved some money around to find out about your birth parents, and confirmed what I already knew…you’re Derek Hensley’s little sister.”

I sobbed, placing my trembling hands over my face, wanting so desperately to disappear.

“I’m an unwanted child all around, aren’t I?” I choked out, unable to keep the question inside any longer. “No one ever wanted me.”

Doing something she’d never done before, Hannah ignored the guards in the visitation area, ignored the other visitors and people around us, and hugged me. I cried into her shoulder, all the emotions taking control of me.

“That’s not true,” she whispered. “Mom didn’t know how to deal, Dad was always clueless, and I’ve always been a mess, Evie. But Nana always wanted you. Nana loved you very much.”

“She was just…” I took in a ragged breath, trying to find strength to speak again. “She probably felt…sorry for me.”

“No, she loved you. Always did. You were her favorite,” Hannah soothed. “I don’t want to hurt you. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this, but if I do anything right in this life, it has to be telling you the truth,” she comforted. “You deserve that.”

Sure, the truth had set Hannah free, but desolation now held me captive.

“Does Derek know?” I asked her between sobs.

“I think he just recently found out a few weeks ago.”

“He said he wanted to hurt me,” I whispered. “Why?”

“He knew I had a younger sister, but he didn’t know who you were. I was able to get word out to him about who you were in the hopes it would change his plans but—”

“How do you know all this?” I asked, raising my face to see her. She was crying too.

“Word gets around from prison to prison,” she replied. “An inmate heard about you being on someone’s list, but we haven’t figured out whose it is.”

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, my gaze lowering. There was a question I was desperate to ask, an answer that would break me. I needed to know.

“Is this why you never loved me?” The answer scared me. Any attempt to hide my pain was futile, especially with the vulnerability that coated each one of my words.

Hannah placed her hands over mine. “Look at me, Evie.” Reluctantly, I met her eyes, hoping to be able to keep it together. All strength drifted away when I saw her crying, openly now. “I always envied you.”

“Why?”

---