Page 108 of The Wrong Side Of Us

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shrieked.

Hannah swallowed. “I had an affair with Derek Hensley.”

Chapter 42

Evelyn

I was sure I was losing my mind.

“You did what?”

“I had an affair with Derek.” She smiled, sighing, and then letting out a small laugh. “It was just supposed to be one night…but days passed, weeks passed, and we kept it going.”

“All that time you judged me for sleeping with Nathan, and yet you cheated first.” I shook my head in disbelief. “Does Nathan know about this?”

“He found us in bed together, so yeah, I think he knows. I’m not surprised he didn’t tell you. Nathan always did everything to protect you.”

“No wonder he hates Derek,” I muttered.

Hannah laughed. “Oh, Evie, that is most definitely not the reason why Nathan hates Derek. Nathan never got angry for me having an affair. In fact, he encouraged it.”

My eyes widened in shock. I was more confused than ever; it was all far more complicated than I anticipated.

She shrugged, her gaze softening at my state of confusion. “He saw I was happy, Evie. Nathan understood my mom would lose it if she found out about the affair, and he believed I deserved a chance at happiness, so he let me have it. He always knew our relationship would never work, so he didn’t mind.”

“This is a mess,” I groaned, placing my face in my hands.

“It’s not a mess. Nathan and I never loved each other, Evelyn. There was no reason for him to care about me being with anyone else. He’s a good man who wanted that relationship for me because I was happy.”

Realization soon set in. Hannah had never talked that way about anyone at all. But the way she spoke, the way she remembered her relationship with Derek, revealed everything I needed to know.

“You loved him,” I stated softly.

Her lips tilted up. “I was free with him. The chains that held me down all my life disappeared with him. I could fly. All my life, I tried to please Mom, did what she wanted, but when I met Derek, I got a glimpse of the woman I could be.”

“What happened?”

Hannah extended her hands, and this time I didn’t refuse the contact. “He wanted me to divorce Nathan, but I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. I was already going against Mom’s wishes, and the thought of disappointing Mom was not something I wanted to do. One day, it all blew over, and Derek and I got in a very bad argument that Nathan walked into. He didn’t know that it was my fault, so he got angry and forced Derek to leave.”

“That bad?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hannah nodded. “Derek was very upset, rightfully so, but when Nathan walked in, he was afraid things would get violent, so he kicked him out. Never liked him again. And I…I was a mess.” She scoffed, her eyes glistening with tears. “Nathan was there for me, but I didn’t try to explain anything to him; I knew he’d say divorce was the best option, and I wasn’t willing to do it. A few days after, I went to Derek’s apartment to try to talk to him, and he refused, saying that if I wasn’t willing to start fresh with him, he didn’t want to be with me anymore.” Her voice broke as she wiped away a tear. “I begged him, Evie. He’s the only person I’ve ever begged in my life, but it wasn’t enough. It was my fault, and I know that, but it hurt. It hurt so much.”

“I don’t understand why if you loved him you would give that up for Mom’s wishes,” I murmured, squeezing her hand. I could see her brokenness now, more than ever before.

“I got so angry I screwed with the marketing of his restaurant chain,” she admitted with remorse. “With people of our reputation badmouthing his restaurant, he never stood a chance. He lost so many clients until eventually he had to file for bankruptcy.”

“That’s a horrible thing to do,” I said. It shouldn’t have surprised me; Nathan warned me about the things Hannah did, but I couldn’t wrap my head around how she’d been capable of hurting someone she had “loved.”

“I know, and I regret it so much, Evie. He came from a bad family. Derek had been through a lot.”

“Then why put him through more?” I asked, not comprehending.

“I wish someone was here with you,” Hannah sighed, trying to hold back tears. “Derek had a rough childhood. I remember he used to have nightmares sometimes, like some type of PTSD. He had an older brother, I think, but there was quite an age difference between them, so Derek lived by himself with his parents, until he was six and his mom got pregnant.”

“What happened after that?”

“Nothing. He always said he didn’t remember much about it because his mom gained so little weight, never mentioned the pregnancy, but he remembered clearly that the baby spent a few days at home before she disappeared. He said he remembered walking one cold morning to a fire station with his mom, that the baby was crying, but his mom was desperate to get high and left the baby there.”