Page 70 of Fall With Me (Sugarland Creek)

“Willow and Poppy will be horse girlies, though, won’t ya?” Noah tickles Poppy when I give her back.

“I gotta run. I’m on Cantina lounge duty tonight and need to clean up. Can you drive me to the campsite?” I ask Noah.

“Yeah, I should get back, too. Lord knows what the others are gettin’ themselves into. I found Wilder halfway under the camper this morning three sheets to the wind.”

Ellie’s horrified look makes me laugh.

“That’s Wilder on a tame weekend,” I tell her.

The girls exchange hugs and Ellie promises to let Noah know when she’s home. There’s an awkwardness as we linger in the doorway, and I’m not sure what to say.

“I hope you feel better and maybe I’ll see ya at the ranch soon?”

“Thanks. As soon as they let me, I’ll be there.” She smiles weakly.

I tip my hat to her parents and then walk out behind Noah and Magnolia, crossing my fingers that the next time we see each other is before she remembers me.

Chapter Seventeen

ELLIE

It’s been seven days since the incident at the rodeo, and I’m so fucking bored.

Whoever said free time is amazing was a liar.

Free time sucks.

I want to be riding Ranger, going on my morning jogs, visiting Magnolia at her coffee trailer, and traveling to my next race.

But the doctor’s discharge orders were bedrest for a week and then I could gradually add in more activity. But since I haven’t been cleared to drive, I pace around the house, sleep, or listen to nineties sitcoms with Aunt Phoebe.

Explaining to her what happened hasn’t been easy. Even though I look fine physically, minus the gash on my head, she doesn’t understand the concept of me losing my memory or that she’s not allowed to tell me anything.

Which also sucks for me because I can’t remember what happened to her or why she lives with us. All my mom will tell me is that there was a traumatic event years ago that caused her to come live with us. Even when I dug for more answers, she was determined to stick to Dr. Murray’s orders.

Between having nothing to do and not being allowed to do anything fun, I’ve Googled everything possible on concussions and seizures affecting your memory.

Some articles talk about how concussions can cause both short-term and long-term memory impairments, including difficulties with recalling traumatic events, but the degree of loss depends on the specific brain regions affected. Considering I also had an epileptic episode, more than one region could’ve been affected, but either way, it varies for everyone. It makes me wonder if whatever happened with Aunt Phoebe has a direct correlation to the stuff I can’t remember because it was traumatic for me too.

The consensus is that brain injuries affect people differently and there’s not always a rhyme or reason for it.

While it’s somewhat helpful and reassuring that most people get their partial memories back, it’s frustrating not having the answers.

Some people on Reddit wrote that forgetting their trauma was the best thing that ever happened to them. Even if it was only temporary, they lived with peace for the first time.

Part of me wonders if this is a blessing in disguise, and I should appreciate it instead of wishing for it back.

I think I’d be okay with that as long as I get to ride again someday.

Finally, after begging my dad, he agrees to take me to the ranch to see Ranger after work. If even for thirty minutes, he needs to know I haven’t abandoned him.

I text Noah to let her know I’m coming and she meets us outside the stables.

“Hey, you look good!” She gives me a small hug, but I know she’s just being polite. The wound on my head looks better, but I still have a small bandage to cover it. “How’re you feelin’?”

“Pretty good. The headaches are mild, and I get a little bit of dizziness, but it’s gotten a lot better.”

“Well, that’s progress at least. Are you sleepin’ okay?”

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