Page 50 of Obsessive Cravings

Mason didn’t say any more, and I let him be my strength, knowing I had none left. What strength I’d had was on the ground of that parking lot with the body of Clint Randall and the shards of my heart.

The snow fell in large flakes, floating like tiny ghosts in the hazy sky beyond my window. Christmas had come and gone, the usual joy of the season buried below my pain and tears. Mason tried convincing me to forget Greyson, but it was too hard. He was in my mind, in my heart, in my soul, no matter that he’d hurt me. It would take years to erase his touch from my body.

Mason checked on me often, but I ignored him, staring out my window each time and rarely leaving the guest room he’d settled me in. I barely touched the food he brought me, barely slept, my dreams haunted by Clint and that night. Haunted by the truth of who Greyson really was, the truth of what he’d done and how he’d used me just like Clint had. Each time I thought about it, the pain grew because as much as I’d thought I loved Clint, it was nothing to what I felt for Greyson. That had been infatuation, lust, but this…this was love—the soul shattering, heart wrenching, never completely healing kind.

“Ri?” Mason’s voice came around my door as I heard him open it. I didn’t know how long I’d been there. The days seemed to blur. I vaguely remembered hearing Mason whisper happy New Year through the door to me one night, but I may have imagined it.

I heard him enter my room, expecting he’d drop a tray of food off and make small talk I wouldn’t take part in. “Greyson is here.”

Hearing Greyson’s name brought the pain to the surface. I didn’t know how to react to Mason’s words. He hated Greyson, so it made little sense that he’d let Greyson anywhere near me.

“Ri, it’s been a month. Talk to him.”

I turned my eyes to him. It was the first time I’d looked at him since the night he’d held me in the back of his car as my tears had fallen. My bruises had healed since then. The small scar on my forehead was the only reminder of that night besides the constant ache in my chest.

“Why would you want me to talk to him?” My voice sounded raw, and I didn’t think I’d spoken since that night, listening as Mason told me about Greyson and their rivalry. Listening as the nurses patched me up and wiped away the blood like I wanted them to wipe away the pain.

“Because I love you more than my pride. I don’t know what to do to help you, Ri. There isn’t much I can’t fix, and you won’t let me fix you. This isn’t anything like what happened with Clint. You got over that, even if you continued to give me the silent treatment. But this…. I’ve never seen you like this. And as much as I hate Tides, I think the asshole is as hurt as you are.”

I scrunched my brows, wondering how that could be. “He used me, Mason.”

“He’s not Clint Randall, Riley. If he were using you, he would have killed you the night he took Clint out. At least hear him out. Or at least tell him to fuck off and get angry at him. I hate seeing you like this. It’s like you're broken.”

Because I was. Broken was exactly how I felt. Shattered like a piece of glass under the weight of a heavy load, fractured into tiny fragments. I rose, pulling my sweater around me, and walked past Mason, not saying anything further. Maybe I needed to face Greyson, if only to get past the tears and the raw pain that wouldn’t heal.

I saw him standing at the gates, waiting for me, the snow dropping on his black coat and in his auburn hair. I pulled my boots on and walked out, the cold seeping below my wool cardigan. Feeling something other than sorrow was nice, and I embraced it.

Greyson looked up as the gates opened, and I stood just beyond them, not getting close. His brow furrowed, his eyes taking me in with sadness. I was sure I looked a mess. I didn’t know if I’d showered or even combed my hair in days. The sleepless nights had surely left dark circles under my eyes, and I’d lost weight from eating so little.

“What is it, Greyson?” My voice was hollow, and I didn’t recognize it.

“Riley, I’m sorry. I needed to tell you that. To explain everything like I planned to that night.”

“Were you going to explain it? Or were you planning to keep me in your web of lies?”

“They weren’t lies. None of them were.”

“You didn’t spy on me? You didn’t have cameras watching me? You didn’t plan to use me as revenge against my brother?”

He flinched at each word, and I noted how the powerful man I knew wasn’t there. Greyson had come to me with vulnerability, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

“I’m guilty of all of it. I lured you into my firm and away from the smaller firm. I set you up with your apartment. I wanted to get back at Mason, and yes, I planned to use you just like Randall did.”

I couldn’t stop the sob his words caused because hearing him say them aloud hurt worse than hearing them in my head.

“But that changed. The moment I saw you on the street that day. And every moment after. I didn’t lie about how I feel about you, Riley. I love you, and no matter what happens, that won’t ever change.”

The tears burned, but I bit my lip, not wanting him to see them, not wanting him to see that his words were weaving their way into my soul.

“Please, Riley. I can’t take it back, but I would give it all up for you.”

“Give it all up? Your money? Your business? Your life? I doubt that Greyson.” I rubbed my arms as the cold began to burn my limbs.

“I would. All of it.”

“And who would you be without it? Who, Greyson? Because it’s part of you. It’s not something you can give up so easily because who would that make you?”

He didn’t respond, his face falling. I could see the defeat in his shoulders.

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