Page 13 of Auctioned to the Professor

I can’t resist the pleading tone and blurt out the whole truth. It’s better he knows so he gets scared away by the clingy little girl I’ve become. “Because I’m starting to like you way too much,” I say. “I have to protect my heart.”

His hands stay locked on my arms for a second, then slide away. He silently gets in his car and drives off, the engine racing as he rounds the corner at the end of the block.

I am shocked and hurt, even though I knew this would be the outcome of my confession. I guess some part of me hoped he felt the same way – but I didn’t even tell him the whole truth.

I don’t just like him too much. In our short but perfect time together I’ve fallen in love with him. If I’d told him that he might have crashed his car in his haste to get away.

Now that he’s gone, I have to make it through the pain. I have to believe it will, or I won’t be able to get out of bed tomorrow morning. I trudge back upstairs and close myself in my bedroom. The glittering tour advertisements on my computer screen, showing all the places I can now afford to go, is no comfort at all, and soon I can’t see any of it, blinded by the tears that flow down my face.

Chapter 8

Grady

As my car tires squeal around the corner, I’m furious with myself. I can’t believe I just left her there after what she said, that I caused the pain on her face. Am I actually giving her up now that she’s finally, truly mine?

But I have to, don’t I?

But for what? A job I find uninspiring? The respect of my peers I can barely stand? I’ve been working hard for as long as I can remember to get to the top of the university ladder. I excel in my field and I’m lucky I have the imagination and patience to write books that millions of people enjoy. I wonder if my readers will turn on me because I feel for a beautiful, passionate, intelligent girl who was once my student.

Damn it.

The woman I’ve been waiting for and obsessing over for more than a year just admitted she has feelings for me. Feelings I know will only grow stronger if I nurture them, but instead I walked away.

I laugh bitterly as I pull into my parking garage, wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. I sped away from the girl of my dreams when she tried to be honest with me.

Back in my apartment, I can only pace like a caged animal, gripping my fists so tight the bones in my hands threaten to break. If I want Faye to love me, that means I’ll have to be willing to be loved too, and possibly give up everything I’ve worked for. I’m not sure I can do that.

I also don’t think I can go back to just watching over her. That will kill me. I certainly won’t be able to let any other man touch her. She was always mine and she will always be mine.

I knock back a couple shots of whiskey and fall into bed, not bothering to get undressed. Even with the strong alcohol, sleep eludes me. All I can think about is Faye’s touch, hear her musical laughter, see that look on her face when I turned and left.

I finally fall into a restless sleep, and in the morning nothing has changed. But, why would it? I haven’t done anything to change my situation. I need to listen to my heart where Faye is concerned. I can only hope it doesn’t completely fuck me over.

Without an ounce of regret, I log onto my college’s portal and submit my resignation, effective immediately.

Chapter 9

Faye

After I stop crying long enough to see my computer screen, I realize my heart hurts so much that I can’t even concentrate on planning my trip. I am second guessing my decisions, and I am not that kind of person. ‘Boldly Go’ has always been my motto, but now I feel stuck. Everything with Grady has made me doubt myself.

I really do need to find a distraction. Right now. I am so far ahead in my schoolwork that missing a week won’t make a difference in the semester. I need time to think, away from any possibility of running into Grady.

The only problem with the places I have pulled up on my screen is that I haven’t gotten my passport back yet. I didn’t think I would be able to travel so soon. It might be another month before I see my new one, according to the application website.

“That’s okay,” I say firmly. “There’s plenty of amazing places here in America.”

In fact, one of the top places on my travel bucket list doesn’t require a passport at all. I hurry to book my ticket to Puerto Rico, feeling the first stirrings of life when I’m able to get a flight out first thing in the morning. Next, I splurge on the most fabulous, all-inclusive resort on the bay that I can find.

By the time I have everything booked and paid for, it takes the rest of the night to pack, and by the time the sun begins to shine through my window, it’s time to leave for the airport. Dragging my rolling suitcase behind me, I have to double back because I forgot to tell Jen I was leaving. She was out last night and I didn’t want to bother her with my sob story. I knock on her door, glad to realize she’s already awake.

“What’s up,” Jen asks, looking up from her laptop in bed.

“I need to get away, I booked a trip to Puerto Rico last night. I need to see something new, clear my head, and experience the world. I’m leaving for the airport right now,” I tell her.

Jen stares at me for a second before jumping up and hugging me. “That’s great! You need to start doing stuff for you rather than worrying about everything and everyone else. By the time you get back, you’ll feel better and I’ll have a new apartment for us,” she flips her computer around to show me the apartment she found. “It’s the least I could do to take some stress off you right now,” she adds. I try not to start crying – again – and thank her for finding a place when she knew I couldn’t focus.

With another hug, I tell her I love her and I’ll see her when I get back. I tell her I am thinking of turning my phone off for the trip so she shouldn’t worry if I’m less responsive than normal.

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