Page 72 of The Happiness Project

They all put down their glasses to give me a hug of congratulations and then start plying me with questions. It was Mum who first spotted this mansion house so she’s taking credit but I don’t care. I promise to hold a housewarming party, and a garden party and New Year. I only hope the neighbours are a friendly bunch with all these celebrations going on, and that’s before Charlie and Josie have put their requests in.

Even though I plan to confront Michael tomorrow, I won’t worry about that tonight — what will be, will be. Now, I’m simply celebrating being ready to move on. I raise the champagne flute to my lips as Patty toasts me and my new apartment. As I take a sip, I promise myself one thing — I’m going to buy those crystal champagne coupes. After all, I’m worth it.

Chapter Thirty-Five: Call Off the Search

‘You should definitely put a chaise longue there — just because you can,’ says Josie at work the next day.

I’m proudly showing them pictures of my new apartment and they’re cooing over them as if they were baby photos, which I guess they are to me.

‘Right, ladies,’ says Charlie, checking his watch as he gets up. ‘Guess it’s time to open the doors to all those bookings. We need a great day to set us up for an even greater evening.’

It’s Charlie and Peter’s hen/stag night tonight. We tried to think of a portmanteau that would work but neither of them liked ‘hag’ or ‘sten’, so we’re sticking with using them both and changing them randomly. Charlie’s friends are heading out with him and Peter is out with his, then we’re all meeting up in a nightclub.

‘And remember,’ he says, wagging a finger at us, ‘I want this to be fun but tasteful. Absolutely no firemen jumping out at me.’

Josie tuts and says, ‘When did stag dos become so sanitised? Anyway, we’ve booked a policeman.’

Charlie looks horrified until he realises she’s kidding and I promise him that there are no strippers whatsoever booked for tonight.

We work a full and busy day and are closing up when Mum calls me in a fit of excitement.

‘I’ve got a match!’ she screams down the phone.

At first I haven’t a clue what she’s talking about.

‘He wants to meet me tonight,’ she says, and the penny drops that it’s a dating match. I’m struck silent with despair but she doesn’t seem to notice.

‘I know that meeting on a stag do isn’t the best way to start something, but it’ll make me look fun and if anything goes wrong or I don’t like him then I just need to signal over to one of you,’ she says, obviously having thought this out.

I sigh out loud and tell her that I didn’t think she’d actually be going through with this item on her list. I tell her to think of Dad and how he would feel if he knew.

‘After all,’ I say, ‘how would you feel if he did the same and wanted an affair? You’d be really hurt.’

‘He’d never do that,’ she says. ‘Besides, I’ve told him.’

‘You’ve what? What did he say?’

‘He wasn’t best pleased.’ Mum is probably understating the situation. ‘But Patty had a word with him and then he agreed that I’d be better off getting it out of my system. I’ve only ever known your dad and sometimes things do need shaking up a bit.’

I sincerely hope that if I ever find someone else, I won’t want to ‘shake it up’ as I approach my eighties. I hope we’re happily drinking cocoa and watching cosy mysteries together, but if she’s really cleared this with Dad then I know I can’t stop her.

‘You’ll be wearing a rainbow flower garland and headdress,’ I remind her. That’s Charlie’s dress code — all black except the garlands. It’s easy to do and a huge relief as I’ve seen many a hen party in the most ridiculous get-ups.

‘But that’s good because I won’t have to worry about what to wear,’ Mum continues. ‘Honestly, I think it’s a godsend that it’s all planned out. I know where to meet him and how long he can have before we move on to the nightclub. It’s perfect — I don’t know why more first dates aren’t held on hen parties.’

Patty would love this logic and Mum is right — if she’s determined to go through with this then it’s better that we’re around and even better that he sees her crazy family as that will have him running a mile. I must find out what Patty actually said to Dad.

I don’t tell Charlie what’s going on — he’s worried enough about this evening going well. Instead, I just wave him goodbye and tell him I’ll see him later. I know he’ll now spend hours getting dressed and yet he’ll look just the same only smell sublime. As no one will be looking at me, I’ll get changed and be out in a flash — right now, I have something else to do.

Thanks to Mum’s surveillance, I know exactly when Michael gets in from work and I’m heading over there to get to the bottom of this. I drive to Cross Road and park up opposite his house then wait. Pretty much on the dot of the time in Mum’s notes, Michael’s van appears and pulls into his drive. He gets out and pulls a folder from the passenger side then opens the door and heads in. I watch all of this and realise that I still feel a pang of affection. His front garden is as immaculate as ever and now abundant with spring flowers that I know he’ll have planted with care. My heart starts beating faster and I wonder whether I’m doing the right thing. Am I about to humiliate myself with a man yet again? After all, I have form. But if I don’t do this then:

1. I will never understand why he seemed keen one minute and ignored me the next.

2. My mother will come round and ask him herself — and that will be even more humiliating.

I have to do this.

I get out of the car, hoping that none of my old neighbours are watching and if they are that they don’t recognise me. I walk calmly up to Michael’s door, practising my opening sentence and pause before pressing the bell.

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