Page 46 of The Happiness Project

‘I can see where Angie gets her looks. I’m calculating that you must be nearly eighty though you don’t look it,’ says the next, getting a smile from me for the impromptu compliment.

‘Look at those ankles,’ says another. ‘You must have been a dancer. I’d say seventy-six.’

My mother is in fact seventy-seven and we’ve organised the answers so that they average out at this exact age. I know she’ll be disappointed that they haven’t arrived at a younger age but, as Josie said, we have to give the beauticians something to work with, and as my mum really doesn’t look bad for her age, I can’t see how they’re going to knock ten years off her appearance. But that’s their job, and after doing our video and emailing it to Zoe, we send Mum on her way to the first appointment — the dentist for a whitening — and get back to work.

‘So the grand unveiling is tomorrow night at seven?’ Charlie checks and I nod as he puts the details in his phone.

‘Mum doesn’t know yet but it’s a fashion event at the hotel,’ I tell him. ‘Zoe’s place hosts them for one of the big boutiques every year; they showcase the spring ranges and people buy tables so it raises money for breast cancer research. I’ve got us a table, so everyone is invited.’

‘Including your new squeeze, David?’ asks Josie.

‘Alas no, he has a golf club thing going on, so I’ll be with my usual partner-in-crime,’ I say, although even if we had got to that stage, calling a man in his late fifties a squeeze seems a bit of a push. My new cuddle, maybe — one day.

‘If there’s a raffle, Mercury should donate a prize,’ says Charlie. ‘What do you think people would want?’

‘If they can get Mrs S. looking sixty then I’d say a little of what she’s had.’ Josie laughs.

‘Oh Lord,’ I reply with a sudden sense of panic. ‘What if they do even better and my mum is standing there looking younger than me?’

‘You’d never hear the last of it, that’s for sure.’ Charlie is guffawing but I don’t think it’s particularly funny.

‘I need to have my hair done before tomorrow.’ I’m looking up the hairdresser’s number in my contacts. ‘It’s not just Mum but everyone going is there to see spring fashions so they’ll all be dressed to the nines.’

‘Good point,’ agrees Charlie. ‘We’d all better look dapper. The Mercury Travel table should shine like a little mirrorball hangs permanently over us.’

He says this looking up to the ceiling and waving his hands airily. I know what he’s thinking and he says it almost immediately.

‘Why don’t we have one in the shop? I’m going to buy one.’

He sits back down and gets straight onto the internet; a husband and wife come in asking about last-minute availability in Madeira so I leave Charlie to his search and take them to my desk.

* * *

‘Angie, do you mind me using the footage of you dancing with Felipe to promote the Vienna trip?’ Josie asks towards the end of the day. ‘We’ve only got a couple of spaces left and it would be good to have it full by the end of the week.’

As it’s already in the public domain on the dance school social media, I tell her to go ahead. In truth, I’m actually quite flattered by it as Felipe makes me look a far better dancer than I ever felt.

The dance trips are practically sold out and I know from talking to some of those who’ve booked that there’s a mixture of dancers and non-dancers going. As Marianne said to me, some people simply love to watch dancing and they’re going for the romance and spectacle of the city as much as anything. I’m extremely excited to be accompanying Mum and Dad on this trip as I’ve always wanted to go to Vienna but for some reason never have. My ex-husband used to like the sun and, of course, when Zoe was a child, she loved beach holidays too so that’s where we tended to go. It’s another aspect of life post-divorce or post-kids that you have to consider — what you actually enjoy doing with your free time. I only realise at this precise moment that I haven’t been to a beach resort in two years and I don’t miss it. I’ve stopped thieves on a cruise ship and sung karaoke in New York — two things I definitely wouldn’t have done with the ex. I wonder what kind of holidays David prefers.

I’m snapped out of my contemplations by a call from my mother.

‘They’re amazing!’ she screams down the line. ‘I didn’t know teeth could sparkle like this. I’m on my way back to Mercury — Charlie will want this treatment when he sees me. I look like that Rylan person on the telly.’

‘Mum, no — you can’t come back,’ I reply quickly. ‘We can’t see you until the makeover is finished. I want to be as surprised as everyone else, but trust me — Charlie is going to want everything you’re having done. I’ve already seen him holding up his jowls in the mirror.’

Mum gushes about needing to show someone and I smile with the whole of my face — it’s wonderful to hear her so excited. She has a room at Zoe’s hotel so that Dad doesn’t see her until the grand reveal. I tell her to get booked in and relax for a couple of hours. I know the wardrobe people will be with her shortly, so she has a busy schedule ahead. Reluctantly, she agrees to stick with the plan.

‘I don’t have jowls,’ says Charlie when I finish the call. ‘It’s simply a jawline in need of a little contouring.’

‘Yeah, me too,’ I say with a snort. ‘And in my case it’s a lot of contouring.’

* * *

I head home wondering how I’m going to fill the evening as every inch of me wants to head over to Zoe’s hotel and see these amazing teeth Mum was enthusing about. I know I’m going to have to scour my wardrobe for something a little bit special. Despite the warning not to overshadow Mum, I am very worried that she’s going to look like my younger sister after all this. However, when I put the key in the door, I very quickly learn that my time has already been commandeered.

‘Angie, come into the studio,’ calls Patty. ‘We’ve been rehearsing something and I need to know what you think.’

Guessing that I’ll enjoy whatever the Granny-Okies have cooked up, and now with a glass of wine, I open the door to the garage.

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