Page 44 of The Happiness Project

I write that up without having any clue whether those animals live anywhere near to the places mentioned. We both know what he means.

‘Cruises are still huge,’ he adds. ‘But I think we’re so well known for them now we don’t really need to focus on marketing them.’

‘Nevertheless, I’ll ask Patty if her company can offer any additional incentives but overall I think you’re right. What else is big now? How about wellness? Any mileage there? We did all say we’d get fit this year and so far we’ve done absolutely nothing about it.’

‘Only because the military fitness man was fully booked for January — he might have slots available now. We should ask.’

‘I’ll do that,’ I say. ‘And I’ll take a look at the retreat market. Would you fancy going on one?’

‘A holiday of denial? Doesn’t appeal to me.’

‘Enlightenment and spiritual awakening,’ I tell him. ‘Plus there’s the chance to lose a few pounds and have glowing skin before a big day.’

He takes the hint and tells me he’ll look into that one, and as we both leave our meeting to rejoin Josie, I catch him checking out his profile in the shop window and discreetly pulling his tummy in.

* * *

I find myself doing just the same a few hours later when I’m zipping up my dress for the golf club event. It’s their AGM, where they do official things like review the accounts and make their annual list of refurbishments as well as decide on member events. David has managed to get me a slot to talk about the holiday opportunity, so I want to do a good job. Looking my best always boosts my confidence but this dress is just a bit too snug, so I change into something a little more accommodating and instantly relax. I really must get on to that fitness trainer soon.

‘Why don’t you join us in the bar afterwards?’ I say to Patty as she’s helping me fasten a necklace. ‘You can talk me up.’

‘Isn’t it only for members?’ she asks and I tell her not to worry, the bar accepts any lowlife.

‘Obviously,’ is her retort but she adds that she’ll try and get along later.

* * *

I sit outside the committee room feeling like I’m waiting for the headmaster to call me in. Which he does — well, David does — after twenty minutes or so. The whole committee is dressed formally in club ties and blazers. I feel and look like the outsider, but as Patty would say, flaunt your difference.

‘A golf club is about community,’ I begin my rehearsed opening. ‘Like-minded people enjoying their hobby, respecting the traditions and having fun together. This is a place to build friendships that last, and I think a partnership with Mercury Travel could enhance those friendships and create even greater loyalty to your club.’

‘Not that we have any problem with loyalty.’ David laughs, addressing the committee. ‘If anything, we can’t get people to leave.’

He nods towards an elderly gentleman and the rest of the committee join in the obvious in-joke. I smile as if I understand and continue to talk about travel opportunities, visiting courses around the world with activities for non-golfers and, of course, discounts for members of the club. At the end I thank them for their time and get a polite round of applause. David stands to show me out, telling the committee, ‘Angie has a great little business in Mercury and I’m sure we can help each other out.’

Once back in the corridor, David tells me they’ll just finish up and he’ll see me in the bar.

I’m mightily relieved to see Patty in the bar when I walk in, and tell her as much. ‘It felt as if I were intruding into some secret sect.’

‘I suppose it is a bit like that.’ Patty points up at the walls, where rolls of honour and plaques commemorate the great and the good of this club going back to the pre-war days. ‘How was David?’

‘Oh, he was fabulous, supporting me and cracking a couple of jokes to break the ice. Saying I have a great little business and trying to get their support.’

‘Hmm,’ says Patty. ‘Now, what are you having?’

She gets us both tonic waters as it’s a work night and we both drove here. David comes in with a big smile on his face.

‘They liked you,’ he tells me. ‘Are you free to talk to our chairman? He’d like to come and chat.’ He nods at the drink in my hand. ‘You haven’t had too many of them, I hope.’

He says this with a little laugh and I reassure him it’s completely non-alcoholic. He waves an elderly gentleman over and he shakes my hand, thanking me for the presentation. He looks over at Patty as if he’s trying to work out who she is.

‘You may have seen me on stage,’ she tells him as she holds out her hand for him to shake. ‘If you like things a bit saucy, that is.’

The chairman looks slightly bemused and David quickly pulls him and me to one side, leaving Patty standing alone.

‘She’s joking,’ I tell the chairman. ‘She’s my best friend and is part of a wonderful tribute act — they’d go down a storm here.’

‘I doubt that,’ David adds quickly as in the background I hear Patty slurping the end of her drink and hiccoughing. David moves us even further away.

---