Page 36 of The Happiness Project

‘Gorgeous,’ I tell him honestly. ‘The meat is so tender — just wonderful.’

I’ve lived with Patty for so long that I know I won’t be able to go back and tell her his meat was tender without getting the most obscene roar of laughter in response. I must be picturing the scene as David asks why I’m smiling to myself. I reply that I’m simply looking forward to the evening, and indeed I am.

His friends are very amiable and chatty. They’re both golfers but when they discover that I’m not, they veer the conversation away from birdies, eagles and albatrosses onto holidays and travel. It’s just as well as I’d started to think I was at an ornithologist convention.

‘I could organise trips to the very best courses in the world,’ I tell them, trying to combine our great loves. ‘And if there are a few people then I’ll get better rates than you’d find yourself.’

‘That’s not a bad idea,’ says David. ‘If Angie can find us a deal, surely we can muster enough interest in heading to the sun to tee off.’

‘And I’d find a resort where there’s enough to do for non-golfing partners,’ I add.

There’s interest and my dinner companions agree to try and get a group together. David pulls a cheesecake out of the fridge which he tells us was baked by Sarah, and despite feeling very full, I take a small slither.

The conversation between the men moves onto other forms of sport and when David takes his friend out to the utility room, his friend’s wife simply shakes her head in amusement.

‘I always think it’s useful that they have something to keep them occupied,’ she says to me. ‘Nothing worse than a man who hangs around the house needing you to keep them entertained.’

I say that I agree but thoughts flick back to my ex-husband, who was often out of my hair and certainly didn’t need me to keep him entertained. I thought he was out with his friends from the local chamber of commerce and I suppose he was — well, one particular female friend anyway. But that’s long over and I’ve achieved so much in the time since our separation and divorce.

‘Why don’t you come to the golf club one day?’ she says. ‘We have a ladies-only morning and, if you like, I could give you a lesson. It’s a good social scene and you might even be an undiscovered Jin Young Ko.’

She laughs and then seeing my blank expression explains that this person is the women’s world champion. I tell her that I doubt it very much as I have no hand–eye co-ordination but that I’ll think about it.

The men come back in and I tell David that I have to be going but I hope to see him at Patty’s gig.

‘Angie’s friend has a tribute band; she’s playing this week,’ he tells them.

I dread them all saying that they’ll come along, but happily they sigh their regret as they’re off to the theatre.

* * *

When I get home, Patty is still up, sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine on the coffee table and her tablet lying beside her.

‘Been videoing Jack?’ I ask and she nods.

‘But he had to cut the call short. One of the kitchen assistants got a bit too enthusiastic with the shredder. It was supposed to be plain coleslaw but now they’ve had to tell the guests it’s beetroot.’

She watches my expression as I move from being horrified at what I’ve just heard to realising that she’s joking.

‘Honestly, Angie,’ she says. ‘I do believe I could tell you absolutely anything and you’d believe it.’

She gets up, heads into the kitchen and returns with another glass. She pours us both a small measure and we take up our positions — her outstretched on the sofa and me in the big armchair with my knees tucked under. If things don’t work out with Jack and David we already have our old married couple positions sorted.

Patty asks me how the evening went and I tell her honestly that it was a nice night with good food and friendly banter.

‘Do you think it’ll progress beyond that?’ she asks. ‘Or do you even want it to?’

It’s a question I ask myself privately all the time, not just about David but any man. I sometimes think I’ve forgotten how to have sex. I wouldn’t tell Patty this and now I simply reply that I don’t know but I’m happy to let this relationship run its natural course.

After finishing the wine, Patty gets up and stretches.

‘Time for my beauty sleep,’ she says. ‘A big week coming up — the Granny-Okies comeback gig.’

‘There should really have been an announcement on the news,’ I reply.

‘Talking of which,’ says Patty, ‘there was an item on the news that you’ll be really interested in.’

‘What’s that?’

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