Page 4 of The Happiness Project

‘And there’s the conical bra — you could do something with that,’ I add, getting a laugh from both my friends.

‘You could wear one on your chest and one on your head,’ says Charlie.

‘We’d look ridiculous,’ says Patty with a grin. ‘And heaven knows we wouldn’t want that, would we?’

Charlie and I join in with a giggle, then Patty picks up her phone and dials a number.

‘Frankie!’ she calls out to an answerphone. ‘It’s your favourite act here — call me when you get this. I want you to organise a warm-up tour.’

Chapter Three: As Time Goes By

Lunchtime is as busy as we anticipated and we don’t stop, but the buzz of sending customers away with smiles on their faces sustains us until just after two, when we finally get some breathing space. Patty has been worth her weight in gold during this rush. When Charlie and I have been occupied with one customer, she has sat and talked to others about where they’re hoping to go and generally kept them entertained. She’s been gushing over their holiday plans and telling them she wishes she was going there, so that by the time the customer gets to booking something with me or my partner, they’ve been nicely warmed up and the sale goes much smoother.

‘We should hire you,’ Charlie tells her as he accepts a coffee. That’s the other reason she’s been a godsend — endless hot drinks delivered to the desk.

‘I doubt you could afford me,’ she says with a coquettish flick of the hair.

The phone rings with Josie telling us that everyone for the Finland trip arrived at the airport and they’re just getting ready to board.

‘Can you even imagine how cold it’s going to be?’ she says.

‘I’m trying not to.’ I unconsciously rub my arms warm even though it’s toasty in here.

‘I can’t anticipate what it’s going to feel like. I mean, I’ve seen movies with deep snow, but they say there’s gonna be at least two feet of the stuff.’

Josie is Australian by birth and came over here in search of love and adventure. She found both after snagging Matt at a speed dating event we went to last year. Inevitably I came away empty-handed. I tell her to enjoy it and to send lots of pictures. A big part of our success is our social media posts, and being practically half my age, Josie is the best at them.

Charlie looks up as I end the call so I tell him that all is okay with the Finland trip. We decide that now is as good a time as any to have a lunch break, and before the words are out of our mouths, Patty has her coat on and is out the door. She returns with a selection of sandwiches, crisps and chocolates, which after that morning’s biscuit binge really isn’t ideal for so early in January.

‘Are you deliberately rebelling against the healthy-eating brigade or something?’ I ask, tucking into a crusty ploughman’s roll, which is absolutely delicious.

‘There is more than one way to health,’ she tells me, wagging her finger. ‘You get serotonin from chocolate and serotonin makes you happy. Happiness is good for the soul, ergo chocolate is actually a healthy food.’

‘I’ll drink to that,’ says Charlie, raising his coffee mug, ‘but I really do need to shape up a bit. Peter works out all the time — he even went for a run on Christmas Day and I don’t want to risk losing him to some Olympian.’

‘I don’t think that would ever happen, and besides, running on Christmas Day is just not normal,’ Patty says. ‘You should have tied his laces together and told him to get back into bed. Morning delight is the very best way to start the day. That’s how Jack and I exercise.’

‘Waaay too much information,’ says Charlie. ‘Nope, I’m thinking of signing up for one of those January challenges — you know, run a hundred miles or do a hundred press-ups for charity, that kind of thing. I know I’ve already missed the beginning of the month but would you sponsor me if I started soon?’

I tell him I will as long as he doesn’t try and make me take part too. I really don’t like starting things in January (and very much doubt Charlie will start anything now). I think they’re doomed to failure as it’s such a long, miserable month. Why would anyone deny themselves pleasure when it’s consistently cold and dark? I start any resolutions in February, which is usually three days shorter and means that I nicely avoid even having to contemplate Dry January. I shudder at the thought of coping with Patty without a glass of wine in my hand.

The lunch things are tidied away as a customer comes into the shop to discuss a surprise getaway for his anniversary and Charlie leaps at the chance to talk romance. It’s far more his bag than mine. I’m about to use this moment of calm to call one of our hotel chain partners when an ear-piercing screech and the window-rattling crash of the front door sends our romantic customer cowering behind Charlie while Patty and me duck under the desks.

‘ANNNNNGGGGIE, you have to see this!’

I decide to take one for the team and raise my head above the parapet — well, I raise one eyebrow first, but on seeing it’s only my mother in full meltdown mode, I declare the territory safe and one by one the whole shop slides out from their hiding places like a scene from an action movie. If Private Benjamin had emerged from the stationery cupboard in full combats I wouldn’t have been surprised.

‘Mum,’ I say when my heart rate returns to normal, ‘what on earth is the matter? I thought we were being raided.’

‘Why on earth would anyone raid you?’ Mum asks, plonking herself down on the chair opposite. ‘What’s here to steal?’

‘We have an almighty stock of half-price biscuits,’ says Charlie. ‘Your daughter and her friend have them stashed but won’t give away the hiding place even under torture.’

Patty and I turn in unison and tut at his crazy scenario — neither of us could ever withstand torture.

‘Sometimes, I swear you two are like those twins from The Shining,’ he says and gets back to his customer.

‘Morning, Mrs Shepherd — what’s got you so excited on this January afternoon?’ Patty pulls up a chair beside us.

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