Page 2 of The Happiness Project

‘Semantics,’ she says with a dismissive wave of the hand. ‘Now, are you going to get in the car or not?’

During the drive to work, Patty gets a call from Jack, the ship’s doctor she met on a cruise last year. Her face lights up when his name appears and she has to tell him that I’m in the car with her so no dirty talk. That’s a relief as Patty’s version of pillow talk would have made Hugh Hefner blush. I smile as I listen to them laughing together and think about the bizarre circumstances of their meeting. Patty is the lead singer in an eighties tribute act and is so good that she was asked to join the entertainment crew of a cruise we went on. While compèring a Rick Astley covers show called Rock Astley, she was trampled by some hardcore fans — Rick-Rollers as they like to call themselves — and in her words ‘ended up under the doctor all week’. Why Patty and I can’t meet men under normal circumstances, I’ll never know.

Jack is telling Patty that his rota means that he’ll be at sea until summer but home for some shore leave after that.

‘Oh, I hope I’ll be joining you before summer,’ says Patty.

‘So there’s no news yet?’ asks Jack, to which Patty says no but she should hear soon.

Patty has applied to join the entertainment crew and has said that she’ll take any length of assignment as long as she’s on Jack’s ship. As much as we wind each other up, I’ll certainly miss her if she goes.

She continues to chat, asking Jack whether the purser recovered from his laryngitis. It’s strange because although I’ve done some amazing things in the past year, I can’t help but feel a little left out as she chats away to Jack about cruise liner details I’m not involved in. I’m delighted for Patty — both that she has this new singing career and that she’s found the man of her dreams — but it feels like my best friend has another life now, one that I’m not really part of. We’ve been together for so long and through so much — the death of her husband and the infidelity of mine — that it’s strange to have this other person making her happy and knowing her secrets. That was always my job. The call finishes with kisses blown and promises to keep the bunk warm.

‘I can’t wait to meet him properly,’ I say, deciding that I’ll make a real effort to get to know this man who makes my best friend smile.

‘You could bring Michael and we’ll have a foursome — it’ll be a laugh,’ she says.

My first thought is that it won’t be as much of a laugh as it would have been with just us girls, but I can’t think like that now so I bury the thought and just smile and nod.

‘If he ever calls me,’ I add with a shrug.

‘This is the twenty-first century, you know.’ That was Patty’s schoolmarm voice. If she wore glasses she’d be looking over them and giving me a hard stare. ‘You are allowed to call him.’

‘I know, I know. It’s just that I don’t know if he wants me to call or if there’s a protocol about these things — how many days should I wait? Do I invite him somewhere? I invited him to the New Year party so you’d think it would be his turn to do the asking.’

‘You really overthink things — have I ever told you that?’ says Patty, pulling up into a parking space.

‘Once or twice.’

We park and Patty pulls down the vanity mirror, applies lipstick and declares herself gorgeous. Then like two cowboys in a one-horse town we stride side by side towards the still-empty high street, where the Mercury Travel Agency sits. It will be buzzing soon as we live in one of the few places where small independent shops still thrive. Across the street the florist already has blooms out on the pavement and the coffee shop has its regulars streaming out with their eco-friendly takeaway cups. I recognise some of the customers as we’re always here at the same time most days. I get a buzz out of waving hello to them and really feel that I belong here. Through the windows of the agency I can see that my co-owner Charlie is already there changing some of the posters. He spots us and sticks his tongue out comically; I return the gesture and laugh.

Although it’s been months since I used some of my divorce settlement to become a partner in this fabulous business, my heart still leaps when I think about the place. It hasn’t just been a business to me, it’s been a lifesaver, and we’ve made so many people deliriously happy. And here we are, at the start of a new year of travel and excitement. I can feel little tears of joy starting to form when Patty grabs me by the shoulders.

‘Are you ready for this, Bo?’ she asks. Bo-Peep is the nickname she gave me over thirty years ago when she found out my name was A. Shepherd.

‘I most certainly am. Come on, let’s make some memories.’

Chapter Two: Dancing Queens

Charlie greets us with a double hug when we walk through the door.

‘The terrible twins! The Ant and Dec of the travel industry! Welcome back to work!’

‘Which one is Ant?’ I ask.

‘Definitely you,’ says Patty, placing her hand coquettishly under her chin. ‘I’m the little cute one.’

‘Anyway, we were always Cagney and Lacey.’

‘And I was the cute one of them too,’ Patty whispers to Charlie as we take our coats off.

‘I’m not even sure which one that was,’ Charlie says. ‘Anyway, to what do we owe the pleasure of your company today, Patty-licious? At a loose end?’

‘Of course not,’ she says haughtily. ‘I’m going to do some setlist planning for my next assignment — just in case it comes through quickly. I thought I might as well do it here. I need to catch up with Sheila, Kath and Frankie to see how they’ve been coping without me. It must have been hard on them.’

I snort, getting a very sharp look from the diva in the room. Sheila and Kath are part of the comedy cover band the Granny-Okies. We met them at a karaoke night and somehow Sheila, Kath and Patty went on to make a career of it. They’ve played several gigs together, including the cruise ships, and I have to admit that they’re really very funny. Everyone has a brilliant night out when they’re around. They’re managed by Frankie, an ex-airline steward who now books bands for concerts and festivals; he also happens to be an old friend of Patty’s, so he has no choice but book her for any open slots.

Patty heads out to the break room, where I’ve no doubt her first point of call will be the biscuit tin. Charlie is obviously thinking exactly the same. ‘She’s going to be disappointed back there — I haven’t filled the tin, so there’s not even a soggy rich tea to go at.’

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