Page 3 of The Jester

I cannot remain on the outskirts of my own life for much longer without losing my mind.

I wait until the sun dips beyond the umbrella of the forest’s canopy before leaving my cabin. Barefoot, I nestle my toes into the dark green moss that carpets the floor. I stand for a moment, allowing beads of evening dew to cool my soles.

I adjust my mask, my dress, my gloves.

Then I walk towards the noise of the celebration.

As I weave through the most dense part of the forest, twilight clings to the trees, the last fading rays of dusk filtering through the canopy in slanted beams. When I reach the stream, violet butterflies spiral upwards at my feet, their delicate wings casting flickering shadows across the twisted roots and rocks by the river’s edge.

With each stride, excitement sparks brighter within me, fizzing hotter and stronger than the apprehension that grips my chest.

Closer to the clearing, the trees begin to thin. Towering oaks and firs creak softly in the gentle breeze. Gnarled and covered in velvet green moss, they watch my passage and sigh at me.

“Everything will be okay,” I whisper. More to myself than to them.

Pausing, I trail my fingers along the bark of my favourite tree, feeling the thrum of life pulsing in its core. Unlike the cold, unfeeling stone of the kingdom’s cities, everything here is alive.

I visited Luminael – our capital – only once, and vowed never to go there again. Perhaps that is why I didn’t flee when I should have – why I stayed and allowed myself to become a shadow in my own life.

Finally, the clearing comes into view. I inhale deeply, letting the air feed my lungs. For a long moment, I soak up the swirling tendrils of revelry and joy that float in the air. I let the excitement and the anticipation wash over me.

I’m about to slam the gates back down and spend the evening revelling in only my own thoughts, when something stops me.

On this night when everyone is happy, and when no one will look at me and feel fear, why not fill myself with joy and light instead of darkness?

So, leaving my gates down, I emerge into the clearing.

It has been an entire century since the last Forest Moon, and the things that happened after have since erased any positive memories from my mind.

But now, they come flooding back.

Familiarity and hedonistic exhilaration flood my senses.

A bonfire blazes in the centre of the clearing, flames licking up towards the starry sky as fae dancers whirl around the fire in a mesmerising blur of colour and movement. Sparks of magic crackle through the air, taking shape as birds and butterflies and ethereal shapes with no solid form.

Tonight, everyone is masked and everyone wears an elaborate costume.

I wait for heads to turn, but no one notices my arrival. Relief washes over me, the weight of one hundred years finally slipping from my shoulders. My wings unfurl, tingling with the promise of unbridled freedom. Finally, I am not a monster.

For this one night, I am not a monster.

I am not myself.

I am free.

But then I see him.

Chapter Two

ALANA

I’d know him anywhere. Broad shoulders, curly blond hair. He turns slightly and I catch sight of his wings. When we knew each other – when he loved me – they had blue tips and veins of silver like the other Leafborne fae whose magic can compel the element of water.

Now, they are pale. Grey and paper thin; more like a Shadowkind fae than a Leafborne. I can see the firelight through them as he moves.

I flex my fingers inside my gold gloves. Even though I know they will protect him from me, fear drips like ice water through my veins. What if I get too close?

In my head, I rehearse what I will say. “Evening Kayan... Hey, Kayan. Hi, Kayan, how are you?”

---