Page 45 of The Jester

“You’ve never done that before?” I ask, lacing my fingers with hers.

She shakes her head. She’s staring at our intertwined hands. “Not since I lost control with Kayan.”

“You lost control with me, too,” I whisper, stroking a gentle line down between her breasts, over her stomach, her hips, her thighs. “But there’s nothing you could take from me that I wouldn’t willingly give you.”

“I felt the way you wanted me.” She shifts beneath my touch as if she still needs more of me, turning her face up to meet my eyes. “I felt your orgasm take over, felt it explode beneath your skin. Then it collided with mine and it was like fire inside me. So good it was almost painful.”

She stifles a yawn and retracts her wings.

“Did you feel it? Was it different for you, too?”

I pull her close and kiss her forehead. “It was different,” I smile. “But I don’t think I felt what you felt.”

She yawns again, her body softening as exhaustion takes over.

“Sleep...” I pull a blanket over her half-naked body. “I’ll make sure no one sees me when I leave.”

She murmurs a reply I can’t quite hear, eyes heavy, already halfway below the veil of consciousness. I pause at the door and look back at her. Red hair splayed over the pillows, skin glowing with the remnants of her pleasure.

I fucked an empath.

An empath fucked me.

And now I know what it feels like, I know once will never be enough.

Chapter Nineteen

ALANA

ONE WEEK LATER

“What do you talk about with him?” Finn asks, trailing his fingers over my collarbone in a way that makes my entire body shiver.

I lean into his embrace, resting my head on his shoulder. Not for the first time, I wish I had the courage to reach up and take his mask off his face.

It feels so strange to me that I know every inch of his body better than I know his face. That this is the one rule of Eldrion’s that he will not break. That he is willing to sneak through the castle in the early hours of the morning to find me, he’s willing to fuck me. He’s willing to do all kinds of things that would get him into trouble, but he is not willing to remove his mask.

I have thought about searching his emotions at the same time as asking him why, so that I can tell whether he is offering me the truth in his answers. But I know that would be a betrayal, and I cannot do that to him.

Since we met, everything we’ve said to each other has been the truth.

I can’t break that trust.

Slowly, I lace my fingers with his. I’m getting so used to not wearing my gloves with Finn, and when I’m with Eldrion, that putting them on now feels like a punishment.

For so many years, I wore them and didn’t think about it. They became a part of me. And now, every time I slip them onto my fingers, I feel like I am participating in my own repression.

“He asks me about the magic Leafborne possess, about elemental magic, about my empathy.” I glance up at Finn.

I still haven’t told him what happened the night Eldrion took me to the inn. I haven’t asked him if he understands what Eldrion asked the innkeeper about. And I haven’t told him that Eldrion asked me to use my powers for him.

So, maybe I am breaking his trust already.

I shift uncomfortably, leaning closer to him as if his warmth can take away the pang of uneasiness that has settled in my belly.

Why haven’t I told Finn about it?

We have talked about so many other things. Why not this? Perhaps it is because I don’t want him to believe I am working with Eldrion or for him in any way. I also don’t want to tell him something that could get him into trouble.

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