Page 100 of Deadmen's Queen

I managed a nod, flinching as she gently unfolded the blanket covering me, and then removed Bast’s jacket.

“Looks like you put up quite a fight,” she quietly noted. “Good for you.”

I felt a strange relief at her words - something akin to vindication. I had fought.

She started with a general examination, asking me about any specific hurts or discomforts. Each touch was careful and tender, soothing some of my fears with each passing minute. She cleaned and bandaged the multiple cuts that littered my body, murmuring reassuring words as she did so. Each movement seemed to hurt more than the last, but I stayed silent, not wanting Bast to rush back in and see me in pain. It took what seemed like forever.

Then she took out a small flashlight and asked me to look straight ahead. The light was harsh against my eyes, making them water. But again, I stayed quiet. She listened to my heart, checked my reflexes, and took my blood pressure. As she moved through the checks, I felt my head starting to clear a little, though I kept a strong check on what I was allowed to think about, focusing on what the doctor was doing and her questions. I couldn’t deal with anything else just yet.

Dr. Harper sighed. “I’m sorry to have to ask this Paige, but Bast said that there was sexual abuse too. Is this true?”

“Yes,” I said. She nodded.

“Will you let me check you over completely? I’d like to make sure there’s no internal damage, but I can understand if you’re not ready for that yet.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I want to know if…” I trailed off, not wanting to voice the fear I hadn’t even realised I had buried. I’d never thought about having children. There was so much emotion connected with my own childhood that I’d never considered it, but as it occurred to me that I might never get the chance now, tears slipped down my cheek. Did the guys want kids one day? Would they still want me after this?

Dr. Harper seemed to understand, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. “Alright, Paige,” she said softly, her warm brown eyes meeting mine. “Let's get this over with.”

The examination was just as painful and violating as I'd feared it would be, though she tried her hardest to be gentle. After a while, she retreated and carefully covered me up again. She removed her gloves and smiled down at me.

“There's some bruising and minor tearing,” she said gently. “But it should heal on its own with time. There doesn't appear to be any severe internal damage.”

“So I should be ok to have kids one day?”

She nodded. “I can’t see any reason why not. I will send off tests for STIs though, and I'm going to give you a shot now for potential STDs. I would give it a couple of weeks before you resume any sexual activity. Are you on any kind of hormonal birth control?”

I nodded. “Implant,” I whispered.

“Good, then you won’t need any morning after pills. I’ll just leave some painkillers to tide you over.”

Nodding weakly, I watched as she prepared the injection.

"And Paige," Dr. Harper said quietly as she swabbed my arm with alcohol. “What you've gone through... no one should have to endure that. You're going to need time and help healing. I'm going to recommend seeing a counsellor about everything that happened to you. Blake will be able to find you an appropriate one.”

She looked at me with so much compassion in her eyes that it made the tears spill over once again.

“Paige,” she began slowly, “he may have tried to break you, but look at you. You're here, you're alive...you're stronger than you realise.”

Her words brought tears to my eyes as I lay there in silence letting the events of the day really sink into me for the first time since it had happened.

“You've been through something terrible,” Dr Harper continued softly, “but I want you to remember that it was not your fault. You didn't ask for this or deserve this.”

I nodded, brushing away the tears that wouldn’t seem to stop falling.

“The next few days will be tough,” she warned gently. “You might experience flashbacks, or feel very detached from reality. This is normal for trauma survivors.”

She passed me a couple of white tablets and a glass of water. I took them, drinking the whole glass down. I hadn’t realised how thirsty I was.

“Ok, Paige. I will be back tomorrow evening to check on you. Bast has my number. If you need anything, if you’re worried about anything, get him to message me and I’ll call back as soon as I can. Do you have anything to ask me now? Anything else you’re worried about that I can help with?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so,” I said. “I just want to sleep.”

“That’s a very good idea,” she said, packing up her bag. “Rest, make sure you eat and drink. Be patient and kind with yourself. Those boys out there seem like they’re crazy about you, so let them look after you. It will make them feel better if they think they’re helping.”

I managed a small smile at that.

“Thank you, Doctor Harper.”

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