Page 68 of Deadmen's Queen

He said nothing for a few moments, then he sighed. “I never thought telling anyone my secret would make me feel so much lighter, but this last couple of weeks, life hasn’t felt so dark.”

“I'm glad,” I said, reaching up to kiss him.

“There’s more I haven't told you yet,” Nate admitted. “And I’m afraid, in case you hate me for it.”

“I could never hate you, Nate. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, kissing me again, and my heart leapt at the words.

“But, I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, so I need to tell you this.”

“I’m listening,” I said, feeling a twinge of guilt. I hadn’t told them about my mother, about her wanting to plant cameras, and to help bring them down to get revenge. She’d threatened to have them killed, and I didn’t know if she was just talking shit or whether she could actually do that. I just knew I couldn’t take the risk. Not till I knew for certain.

Nate shifted underneath me and I squirmed against him. His cock was softer now, but he still filled me up and I didn’t want him to pull out yet.

He smiled. “Keep wriggling against me like that, and I’ll end up fucking you again.”

I fought the urge to call his bluff. He wanted to open up, and I didn't want to put it off in case he changed his mind, though I was feeling a little nervous about what he wanted to tell me.

“Tell me,” I said, keeping still.

He sighed. “When I was a child, I had an older brother, Henry. He was three years older than me, and my father loved him. Always talked about him being his heir and successor, and I always felt like he didn’t want me. Then he… then he started coming to my room, and in a sick way, I felt wanted.”

“That’s understandable,” I murmured.

Nate swallowed and nodded. “One day, we were out playing. It was a really hot summer and there’s a lake on the estate. We were in the water, but not too deep. It was up to my waist, but Henry was taller.” He took a deep breath and I waited.

“Henry said he had a new game to play. He reached underwater and started… touching me. He asked me if I liked it and I said no. He got annoyed with me and said it was his turn. He pulled his cock out, and dragged my head down, forcing it into my mouth.”

“Nate…” I said softly, hating the pain on his face. He closed his eyes.

“Paige, I snapped. Father had been doing it for a couple of years by then, and the night before had been particularly bad. I just couldn’t… I couldn’t face Henry doing it to me. I loved him so much…” His voice cracked, and I reached up to stroke his face, tears in my eyes. Nate took a shaky breath.

“I lost it. I pulled away and I hit him hard. He fell backwards into the water and I… I held him down.” His last words were whispered, and his whole body tensed under me. His eyes opened and I could feel the agony in them like it was my own. Tears ran down my face.

“I didn't mean to, I just couldn't take any more. I just wanted him to stop, and then he wasn’t struggling any more. I dragged him to shore and I tried to get him to breathe, but I couldn’t.”

Nate’s tears escaped, trickling down the side of his face into his hair, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Father worked it out. I thought he’d kill me himself, but he didn’t. He didn’t come near me for a week, didn’t talk to me, didn’t even acknowledge I existed. Then one night he came to my room and told me he was proud of me.” His voice twisted, laced with disgust. “He said Henry had been weak and I’d proved myself a true Carver, because I could do what needed to be done. He said from now on, he’d train me to become the best I could be, to carry on the Carver name. That was the first night he fully raped me.”

Nate shuddered underneath me, his body trembling. He met my eyes for a moment, then closed his. “You hate me.”

“No, Nate. I hate him. For what he did to you. For what he clearly did to your brother. You need to stop blaming yourself, Nate. You were an incredibly screwed up kid, and it seems Henry was too. And there’s only one person to blame for that, and that’s your father.”

Nate watched me, his eyes wary as I spoke, but then relief filled them and he pulled me down against me. I could hear his heart racing as my head lay flat on his chest.

“God, I love you. How are you so perfect, Paige?”

“I’m nowhere near perfect,” I argued.

“You’re perfect for me.”

He slipped his hand into my hair, guiding my mouth to his, and kissed me deeply. This time, there was no anger, no fire, no fear. It was all him, and I succumbed completely to it. I felt his hand move gently over my body, stroking every inch, and his cock began to harden inside me.

He opened his eyes and looked at me, and I nodded. Pressing his hands onto the mattress, he pushed himself back till he was sitting against the headboard. I held his shoulders as I brought my knees up either side of him, never breaking our connection. He kissed me again, wrapping his arms around me, pushing up into me, gently, and I rolled my hips over him, taking him deep and slow.

My hands tangled in his hair as our bodies moved together in slow fervour, lost in the depth of the moment. The world outside our room ceased to exist. It was only Nate and me. His lips moved along my collarbone, and up my neck, before claiming my mouth again, and his hands settled on my hips, guiding my body rhythmically as I began to move faster.

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