Page 44 of The Love Penalty

After what feels like a freaking eternity, she sucks in a breath and opens her mouth. Nothing comes out at first, until a slow tear starts to trickle down her nose. “When you have sex and, um…” She sniffs. “If things have already started, and then something feels off, so you ask him to stop…” Her jaw starts to tremble, her voice turning into a squeak. “And he doesn’t. What is that?”

Understanding works through me, followed quickly by a rage as hot as a firestorm. I clench my jaw and struggle to get out the words. “It’s rape.”

Her expression crumples. “I thought so. That’s what it felt like.” She starts to cry and then whimpers, “He didn’t stop.” She lets out a choking sob. “He raped me.” She covers her face and screams into her hands. “He raped me!”

CHAPTER 19

LEILANI

I thought I could do it.

My body wanted Asher so badly, and I had a point to prove.

I wasn’t going to go sexless for the rest of my life because of some asshole at a frat party, so I made myself keep going.

And it was good.

It was so good.

Asher’s hands, his lips, his magical tongue…

I didn’t want to stop. I wanted those thrusts, that sense of being filled completely. I wanted his chest rubbing against my nipples, igniting me in all the right ways. I wanted to feel him come inside me, to share that moment of ecstasy with him.

But then… the word just popped out of me, and as soon as I whispered it, I knew I needed him to get off me, out of me… give me some space!

And he did.

He did what I asked. Then he stayed and tried to understand what the hell was going on with me.

I couldn’t leave him hanging in all that confusion.

So, I said it.

I finally said it.

And now I’m screaming into my hands because, for the first time since it happened, I’ve actually admitted the truth to myself.

I’m finally acknowledging the R-word.

I was raped.

Raped.

“Lani, I’m…” Asher’s voice is all choked up. “I’m so sorry.”

He sounds broken, and it makes my hands fall away. I look at his face and see the anguish, like my news is tormenting him somehow.

“I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you.”

Tears fill my eyes again and I lean forward, resting my head against his shoulder. His arm comes around me, arranging the blanket so I’m covered, and I curl into his embrace. He kisses the top of my head and whispers, “Is it okay if I hold you like this?”

“Yes.”

We go quiet for a minute, and I close my eyes, soaking in the feel of his sheltering embrace. It’s strong and safe. Secure in ways that nothing else has been since that night. It’s almost like the world can’t touch me if I stay leaning against him like this. If he holds me close and doesn’t let go.

“Have you, uh… have you told anyone about this?”

I shake my head and sniff, my belly rumbling with a fresh sob. I try to clamp it down but can’t stop the tears rolling out of my eyes. “I couldn’t. The words just haven’t come.”

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