Page 55 of Look on the Bright Side

“Okay, honey, okay. You’re right. It got…I just kind of got caught up in it and forgot who I was, I guess.”

“You forgot? You forgot you were a husband for almost forty years? You forgot your wife loves you? At least, she used to. I mean, God, Gerald, what the hell was missing from our marriage that made you do this? Almost four months of pretending you were in high school again? Four months of leading some woman on? Four months of thinking about someone other than me?” Her voice broke on that.

“Ellie, no. I was just…you know. Just all the stupid clichés. I was bored. Robbie had moved out in the spring, then Lark in the fall, Matthew went back to California. Then Camille reached out, and I just…remembered.”

“First you forgot, now you remembered. Remembered what?”

“Those…those dopey high school feelings, that’s all. Like when your life is ahead of you and you have no idea what you’ll be or do or where you’ll end up. And…” He rubbed his hands over his face. “For a very short amount of time, I felt a little disappointed in where I ended up. Not with you, not that, not at all.”

“Bullshit. I read what you said about me, Gerald. How consumed I am with work. How I’m too busy to be a good grandmother. How I don’t have enough time for you, which is complete and utter bullshit. You didn’t mention that I’m working seventy hours a week because we can’t both retire. That we’ve been just getting by for the past forty years, and unless your father dies and doesn’t skip over us and give everything to the kids or a dog shelter or his girlfriend, I’ll have to run this fucking gallery until I’m eighty. Did you mention that? You got to retire, and this is how you show up for us? By fantasizing about Camille Dupont? Which totally sounds like a fake name, by the way.”

He let out a bark of laughter, and for a second, she felt a rush of satisfaction. He always did laugh at her jokes, which a lot of people didn’t appreciate. But he did. He had.

He stood up, dropped a hand on her shoulder, which she twisted away from. He did not get to touch her, no way. Gerald went to the sink, where he filled two glasses with water. As a nurse, he’d always been ahead of the curve on hydrating, long before everyone carried a Yeti.

When he sat back down, his color was better. Too bad. “What do you want me to say?” he asked. “I ended this back in January. If you read everything, you know that. I was stupid, I was bored, I was a little jealous and I flirted with a girl I knew in high school. I met her once for lunch. But that was it. I’m not defending it. I’m just defining it more clearly.”

“You gave her a clock from my gallery,” Ellie hissed. “Don’t boil this down to some trivial little flirtation, Gerald. You have damaged our marriage. I can’t trust you. That’s what I’ve learned. You pretend to be a loving husband, holding my hand all the time, but then creep up to the attic to DM some woman you haven’t spoken to in half a century.”

He grimaced. “Look, I made a mistake. I…I dipped my toe, but I didn’t jump in.”

They’d been married so long that they even used the same metaphors. He covered her hand with both of his. She pulled away.

“Ellie, I stopped with her as soon as I realized the damage I could do. I chose you, honey. I didn’t stop because I got caught. I stopped because I realized I was being an idiot. I am so sorry you found out, because it was never going to happen again. It was a blip on the radar, nothing more. Please forgive me.”

Shit. It was a good apology. He said everything the advice columnists instructed cheaters to say. He had stopped it of his own volition. He hadn’t let it go too far. He hadn’t told her about it to get it off his own chest.

“Well, if you think you’re getting a medal, think again. I’ve moved in with Joy. I’ve been at her house, not Grace’s.”

“Who’s Joy?” he asked, his brows drawing together.

“Lark’s landlady. She invited me to stay with her as long as I want.”

“You told her?”

“Yes, I told her. I had to tell someone. You want me to tell the kids about this?”

His face grayed again. “No, but…I…Honey, this is your home. This is where you belong.”

“You know what? I reject that, Gerald. This is where I live. It used to be my home, but I haven’t had the time or energy to enjoy it or work on it in years. You get to putter around here, doing whatever you want to. You ignore my list of things to be done and spend your day cutting down the branch that didn’t need cutting instead of fixing the lawn mower or the fence or moving your shit out of the garage or painting that hideous orange bathroom. I just go to the gallery, work, come home, work more and, if I’m lucky, get invited to Addie’s for dinner and maybe get to babysit the girls when they deign to ask us.”

“Honey, that’s not—”

She slammed her hand against the table. “Shut it, Gerald! You are not in a position to contradict me.” She pulled out her phone. “In fact, I’m calling a family dinner. Here. Tonight. Mandatory. And that’s when we’ll tell the kids Mommy won’t be living at home for a while.”

“Wait, wait, Ellie, hang on. Take a breath, honey.” She glared at him. “What are we going to tell them? Are you…do you think…”

“Are you scared they won’t love Daddy as much if they knew he was sexting someone?”

“I never sexted anyone.”

“Semantics.” But yeah, the kids would be furious.

At least, she thought they would be. What if they sided with him, though? Yeah, Mom, you’re so busy, you never, you always, Dad deserves, you should…Fear stabbed her in the heart. What if they alienated her? Thought dear old Dad was justified in looking elsewhere?

“For now, no, I’m not going to out you, Gerald. Yet. Just make sure all the kids are here tonight. No excuses. Now I’m going to pack. And by the way, I’ll be taking a lot of time off this summer, so you might want to get your ass back to the hospital and start working again.”

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