“That means so much to us,” Theo said, reaching for her hand. “You’re part of his legacy, Lark. People in his shoes will be better off because of you.”
“Are you, um, seeing anyone, Lark?” Theo asked, and Lark flinched a little. Heather was giving her an apologetic look, but it was part of the tradition of this day. The Deans would ask, assure her they’d be fine with that, and then sag in relief as she said no.
“No, of course not. I mean, it’s just…I haven’t met anyone I want to…get to know.” Heather was nodding. How could anyone compare to Justin? No one could, and Heather knew it as well as Lark. Certainly, Lorenzo Santini wasn’t a contender. “But guess what? I got the sweetest text from Grady Byrne yesterday. He wants to know what Addie, Winnie and I think about a ring for Harlow.”
“Oh, how wonderful!” Heather said. “I just love your sister. And that store! Did I tell you I joined their Mystery Lovers Book Club?”
“Really? What are you reading?” she asked, and for the rest of the evening, she and the Deans sat and talked and tried not to look at the space where Justin should have been.
SIX
LARK, MANY AND MANY A YEAR AGO
Lark had always loved the term puppy love.
For one, was there anything cuter than puppies playing together? Of course not! And two, the thought of two puppies growing up together, best friends for life, having cute puppies of their own…perfection. She was repeating a family tradition—Grandpop had moved to Grammy’s street when she was ten years old, and Grammy said to her sisters, “I’m going to marry that boy someday.” And twelve years later, she did! They were married for more than sixty years, and they had loved each other so much.
Yes. People were too quick to dismiss puppy love. To say that it wouldn’t last, it was just a crush, to chalk it up to adolescent hormones. Who marries their first boyfriend, after all? people said.
Lark had loved the idea.
Being an identical twin was the best thing ever…except when it wasn’t. Addison was the outgoing twin, the star, the one who was funnier, faster, louder. She was the kind of five-year-old who simply sat next to someone and said, “I like your hair band. Let’s be friends.” By the second week of school, she was the queen of kindergarten. And Lark was proud, not jealous. Because they were twins, Addie’s triumphs were hers, too…just not on the outside. Being Addie’s sister made her interesting to her classmates, but that was where Lark’s popularity ended. Unlike Addie, Lark was shy, hesitant to intrude, worried that people might not like her or, worse, think she was Addison and then be disappointed to find she was not.
So, like any good lady-in-waiting, she attended to Addison, obeying her without question at lunch and recess, always near her, loving her and not minding a bit that she was in her sister’s shadow. Except academically. Lark was more like their big sister, Harlow—bookish and a good listener, as her mother often told her. Addie was not. Addie had to protest, object, resist the smallest things so she could make her mark. If Mommy said to brush their teeth, Addie would say no, not yet. Or she’d pretend to brush her teeth, going so far as to wet the brush, spatter water, even eat a little toothpaste to have minty breath.
“Why don’t you just brush?” Lark asked. “It’s easier than fake brushing.”
“Because I don’t want to brush my teeth,” Addie said.
The same was true in school. It wouldn’t have even occurred to Lark to not sit down in story circle or do all the math problems (they were so easy, after all, and fun). Addie would sigh dramatically and say, “Mrs.Rogers, this is boring. Can’t we do art instead?” or “I’m just too exhausted for gym, Mr.Carvalho. I’ll be taking a nap in the nurse’s office instead.” Her classmates would laugh at her outrageousness, her boldness, her confidence. Lark would smile, full of admiration for her strong-willed sister, but she’d never follow her naughty example. She loved school, and was immediately put in an advanced reading and math program, which irked Addie. Sometimes, though she felt guilty thinking it, Lark was glad for the separation. It made her feel a bit more…free. Here, she could just do the work and be herself without Addie needing her, just for a little while. And she could have a friend or two who wasn’t Addie’s friend first, a new experience for her.
Justin Dean was one such friend. One of two, really, the other being Jordyn Rae, a girl who was cheerful and smart and had a golden retriever puppy she let everyone pet at pickup. Jordyn was friends with everyone, though, and when neither Jordyn nor Addie was available, Lark felt a little tremulous.
Justin Dean was one of the nice boys. The nicest, in fact. He always said hello and never chased or yelled or shoved. Then, in October of her kindergarten year, Lark sat at her desk as Ms.Ryan explained how all the clouds were made of water, and she felt her stomach roll and squish. Addie was home with a stomach virus, and Lark knew this was a bad sign. There was a bitter taste in the back of her mouth, and suddenly, she vomited all over her desk.
“Gross!” cried her classmates, leaping away from her. Brooklynne, the mean girl, laughed. Shame and bile burned in Lark’s throat, and tears spurted out of her eyes as she kept her face down.
Ms.Ryan got paper towels to mop up the mess, and put her hand on Lark’s head. “It’s okay, sweetie. Justin, would you walk Lark to the nurse, please?”
Justin took her arm gently, and she stood up.
“Feel better, Lark,” said Jordyn.
“Don’t puke on me, you pukey puke-face!” crowed Brooklynne.
“Leave her alone,” Justin said, and his voice was firm but not mean. He opened the door and guided her out. “It’s okay,” he said. “I always feel better after I throw up. Plus, you get to go home early.”
Lark nodded but didn’t look at him. At the nurse’s office, since her throat was too tight to speak, Justin said, “Lark threw up. You should call her mom.” Then he looked at Lark, and she saw that his eyes were dark blue, like the sky just after the sun set. “I hope you feel better, Lark.” He gave her a pat on the shoulder and left.
She felt her cheeks flush. Justin Dean had just transformed, right in front of her eyes, from a nice boy in her class, to…to someone she loved.
Daddy picked her up, which was better than Mommy, because Daddy was a nurse. Addie was already well enough to be at Grammy’s bookstore for the day, and Lark hoped she, too, could have a day there. Daddy felt her forehead, then tucked her into bed and lined up all her stuffed animals at the foot of her bed.
“They’re very worried about the patient,” he said. “They’re going to stay and keep an eye on her while she sleeps.”
He gave her a sip of ginger ale and some Ritz crackers, and for a little while, Lark felt very special. Winnie peeked in at her with solemn eyes, and Daddy brought Robbie to the doorway so he could wave his chubby little arm at her before she fell asleep.
“I knew you were sick!” Addie declared when she got home. “I was reading with Grammy, and I felt sick, too, but in you, not in me. Are you better yet? We can stay home again tomorrow and play all day.”