I turned off my phone and laid it down on the sink beside me. “Because?—”
“Oh, my God. Did…?” She stepped back from me, fear covering her entire face. “You’re one of them. Did you?—”
“I’m the reason you’re still alive,” I interrupted before she could utter her false assumption.
People called me a lot of things, and I didn’t care. But there was one thing I would never allow anyone to call me, and that’d be a fucking rapist.
“And I’m guessing because I didn’t tolerate what they did and saved you, they know I’d show back up if they attacked you.”
20
CLARITY
Sterlie Adams
Fear him, a voice inside of my head demanded. Run away. He’s the enemy.
But was he?
In theory, I knew Milo could’ve been lying to me. After all, he kept something this important from me for this long.
As did my own sister, and I bet my father knew what happened to me as well. The only one who didn’t know what happened to me was me.
All those years, I thought something was wrong with me because, as far as I knew, I had no reason to fear anyone or anything. I’d lived the perfect life. I was well-liked, though sometimes ignored. I was popular in school and was fancied by a good chunk of guys.
But I’d never been with anyone before. Never felt the desire to be with anyone either.
Every time I got close enough to lose my virginity, I would freeze and be flooded with dread. I wanted to lose it, really, I did. But I couldn’t.
I never knew why.
Suddenly, it all made sense.
Souls remember trauma even if our brains don’t, right?
All those years, I’d been crying to my sister about how I felt as if something was wrong with me. Not once did she attempt to tell me where this might’ve come from.
It wasn’t a guarantee, I was aware of that, but perhaps if I knew, I finally could’ve moved on from the thoughts that I was the problem, and realized that I was the victim.
As I stared at my sister’s contact info, I wondered if I even had the right to be upset about something I didn’t remember. After all, everyone was simply trying to protect me from a truth that nobody would want to find out about themselves.
These past twenty minutes, Milo told me what happened. Though I couldn’t be a hundred percent certain he told me everything or the truth, I believed him. He promised that nothing really happened. He swore that he prevented worse than being kidnapped and drugged.
So, could I have been mad at Flora for protecting me?
It didn’t matter if it was my right to be mad or not, I was furious.
Eleven years. They had eleven years to tell me. While I couldn’t blame Milo for not telling me as he didn’t technically know me, I could blame Flora and our father.
So, without any more hesitation, I pressed the call button and waited for Flora to pick up her phone.
It rang. Once, twice, and then finally, her voice came through. “Hello, there! Is Tartarus this boring without me? You should be working, Milo.”
I could hear the cheeriness in her voice, the happiness. She’d been blossoming ever since she’d been together with Kai. It made me happy to see her happy. However, at this very moment, I didn’t want to feel happiness for her; I wanted to hate her.
There was an emotion somewhere inside of me that I never felt toward her before. Disappointment. She’d never disappointed me before. She never could.
My whole life I saw my sister as the greatest person ever. She was my best friend. Flora and I had a connection like no other, yet suddenly, I felt it crumble over a simple attempt to protect me.