Page 84 of A Taste Of Darkness

“Yes. Are you?” Sure, I knew this wasn’t his first time, but according to him, he’d never touched anyone before, so it was new. It must’ve meant something, then, right? He must’ve felt different. Or maybe not.

“The best I’ve ever been,” he replied and leaned in to kiss me softly before he sat down beside me. Milo wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close as we both now looked at the sea. “Was it okay?”

I nodded. “It feels a little strange but… yeah. It was more than okay.”

“Strange how?”

I looked up at the stars, admiring how bright they were shining. “Not in a bad way. It’s just an unfamiliar feeling, you know? Like I can still feel you, but I don’t.”

He chuckled, earning himself a slap from me because how dare he laugh at that?

“It’ll fade in a bit,” he said.

“Yeah, I figured. It’s still strange, though.” I leaned my head onto his shoulder, now watching the water.

We stayed quiet for a little while, just Milo holding me in his arms as we watched the waves. It wasn’t awkward or anything, which was good. He gave me no reason to think he was ready to throw me away, but my mind was telling me he would anyway.

Suddenly, Milo laid down and pulled me with him. I rolled over, almost lying right on top of him. My chin rested on my hands which lay on his chest as I looked up at him, trying to put a smile on my face but I couldn’t.

“What’s wrong?” Milo asked, taking note of the battle inside of my mind. He pushed a strand of my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

My head shook. “Nothing.”

“Tell me, my love.” His thumb traced underneath my right eye, wiping away a tear I didn’t notice leaked from my eye. “I’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

He already made me feel better by just being in my life.

I never thought this was possible. For so long I wondered what it’d feel like if I ever truly liked someone. Not a single assumption I had came close to how Milo made me feel.

Perhaps it was stupid, or it was wrong because I should’ve stayed as far away from him as I possibly could. He put my life in danger… yet when I thought about returning to Toronto and not seeing him daily anymore, I wanted to cry.

“I’m just struggling to tell my mind to shut up,” I admitted. “I want to believe that you’re not repulsed by me now and?—”

“I’m not,” he confirmed. “Sit up.”

“Okay?” I sat back up, but before I could move beside him, Milo pulled me right onto his lap. He held me so close to his body, I could breathe.

His lips pressed to my forehead, then leaned his against mine. “I adore everything about you.”

A smile crept onto my face, cheeks heating up. “Everything?”

“From head to toe,” he said. “Your obsession with pink. The way you roll your eyes at me when I say something you don’t agree with. That you eat sugar just before going to sleep. I adore the way your nose scrunches up and your eyebrows draw together when you see numbers. And that you video call Flora every day just to see Soup and make sure she knows that you haven’t abandoned her.” He leaned back and instead tapped a finger against my forehead. “And I love the way your mind works, even if it isn’t always nice to you.” His hands settled on my waist. “You’re perfection,”

Tears swelled in my eyes, and I was sure my heart stopped beating entirely. My lungs stopped working as well, but before I even managed to get words past my lips, Milo spoke again.

“If I have to spend the rest of my life proving to you that you’re the most beautiful person in the entire universe, I will.”

He was going to be the death of me, I could feel it. I didn’t doubt that he’d try everything to make me believe how beautiful I was in his eyes. Somehow, I couldn’t wait for him to show me.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “That helped a lot.”

“Good,” he said, smiling softly. “Now, come on, let’s get you some water and then we head back home.”

I moved off him so he could get up first.

“Milo?”

“Yes, cuore mio?” He held a hand out for me. I took it, and he immediately pulled me up to my feet.

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