Page 60 of A Taste Of Darkness

Physical touch scared me, especially if it was intimate. I have only ever had one boyfriend before, and the first and only time I’d been brave enough to undress in front of him, he made awful comments. I was crying about it for weeks, and ever since then I automatically assumed everyone was going to be put off by me. That included simply holding my hand or touching my shoulder.

Also, ever since Milo told me what almost happened to me when I was twelve, while it explained my problem with intimacy in some way, it was starting to bother me more than I cared to admit. I wanted to remember what happened that day, but I started to think that I might have to accept that those memories weren’t going to come back.

Even though I knew Milo meant touch in a literal way, not with some kind of sexual intent, it still took me by surprise when he picked me up and sat me down on the counter behind me.

He looked right into my eyes for a moment, and I could swear something was passing between us that I wasn’t sure I felt correctly.

My emotions were doing all sorts of confusing things lately.

His gaze was leaving holes in my soul, began to carve his name on a part of my body that I never even thought about giving away, burning hot through my veins.

I had to look away because if I didn’t, I was going to lose my mind. Not a single thought in my brain, I had an explanation for. They were intruding on me, haunting me with ideas I never entertained before.

His hot breath grazed the shell of my ear when he said, “Se soltanto tu sapessi quell oche provo davvero per te.” [If only you knew how I really feel about you.]

A shiver ran through my body, even if I didn’t understand much. I was able to translate the nickname he called me all this time, but as I told him last night, I barely remembered any of the Italian that I learned.

I needed a distraction, and I needed it quickly. So, I said the first thing that popped up in my mind. “Can you teach me how to use a gun?”

Why it was the first thing that I thought of, I didn’t know, but I wasn’t surprised. The past month had been crazy, and I didn’t feel safe most of the time.

Around Milo, I felt like nothing could ever happen to me, but without him by my side, I even feared breathing.

I wanted to be able to protect myself.

“A gun?” His hands slid down my sides. “Sure.”

“Really?!” I gasped happily. “I asked Kai if he’d teach me, but he said no.”

“Of course he did.” Milo’s eyes rolled. “He’d never teach anyone anything except that kid, the older kid, and Flora. Oh, and the little devil’s spawn they’re about to have.”

I chuckled. “You mean Lola and Ares?”

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” He winked, then stepped away from me to look through one of the cabinets.

The moment his body pulled away from mine, I crossed my legs and pressed my thighs together. Screw him for turning me on by doing nothing.

It wasn’t fair.

I went this whole time without even thinking about having sex with someone, and suddenly I was getting wet at the stupid sight of this stupidly hot Italian guy.

After a few seconds of looking through cabinets, Milo set shaving cream down beside me on the counter, followed by a metal razor, a shaving brush, a bowl, moisturizer, and aftershave.

When our eyes locked again, Milo gave me a smile with the smallest shrug I’d ever seen. “I’ve got to look good at the shooting range, don’t I?”

I nodded softly while I suppressed every urge inside of me that wanted to tell him that he looked handsome as balls either way.

Truthfully, I didn’t even know what that was supposed to mean, but my drunk brain thought it made sense.

Hot as balls was a thing, wasn’t it? I probably just mixed them up.

I watched mesmerized as he foamed up the shaving cream and then applied it to his face. I’d never watched a man shave, and frankly, I wasn’t sure if that was truly something people did.

Was it strange that I thought Milo looked hot doing it? Or, well, applying the shaving cream because much to my surprise, he didn’t reach for the razor yet.

Milo looked right into my eyes, then brought his hands to my knees and spread my legs apart before he stood himself in between them.

My heart officially stopped beating. If I was standing, my knees would’ve given in.

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