Page 39 of Lost In Someone

“Can you drive? My head is on another planet at the moment.” I give Brodie the keys as we reach my truck. That’s the understatement of the year. In less than two weeks, I’ll be in charge of another human being. The whole shebang of feeding, changing, bathing, and loving to make a baby into a happy child and further is up to me. To us.

Every now and then, Brodie glances at me, but my head is bursting with everything Kate has done to make sure I take Milo. My son. I still can’t fathom why she would do this. Why would she reject him, hand him over to a social service that hasn’t always done the right thing for children? And her parents denied him as well. Then again, they have always been dismissive of Kate. Was she an unwanted child too?

As we get closer to my new home, the one that has to be ready for Milo in ten days, panic sets in. Brodie must notice because he touches my thigh. “Why don’t we go and see Merrick? He’s done this. He’ll help us.”

“Okay, that sounds good.” And it does because we’re going to need all the help we can get. As we take the turning up the hill to Merrick and Drew’s home, nerves flood me.

Drew opens the door. “How did it go?”

A dry chuckle breaks free, and I shake my head. “I’m not sure where to start.”

Merrick wanders down the hallway. “Why don’t you come in and take a breath? I’m sure your heads are all over the place.”

“Thanks, it’s been one hell of an afternoon.”

Instead of heading into the kitchen, our usual gathering place, Drew goes into the living room. “Take a pew.” He sits in one of the wide, comfortable chairs.

I plonk down onto the soft fabric sofa opposite him. “He’s mine,” I blurt out. “Kate had already put my name down on the birth certificate without any proof.”

“Christ.” Drew shakes his head. “Where is she?”

“The solicitor won’t tell us. She doesn’t want me to know. She’s left a shit ton of money for the baby but has signed over her rights to claim him at any time in the future.”

I run through everything we found out and then get to the part that led us here. “We need your help, Merrick. Can you give us a comprehensive list of what we need for him? We need to be ready by next Friday.”

“Friday,” Drew says. “That’s not much time.”

“It’s ten days away. Which is why we need the list. I’m going to hit Amazon tonight.”

“I still have the spreadsheet Josh and I put together. Let me print it off.” Merrick picks up an iPad from the coffee table, scrolls through the screen, and, with a flourish stabs, at it. “Done. I’ll go and get it.”

“Thank god for obsessive spreadsheet disorder.” Brodie chuckles. “I remember this list. It’s going to hit our bank accounts hard. Munro sent me a list of things he had when they had their daughter.”

“Isn’t this why she set up a fund for him?” Drew asks.

“I’m not touching that. Milo can have it all when he’s eighteen. I can provide for my child.”

“We can, Ivan. Milo is ours.” Brodie smiles at me.

I love how he has embraced a child he hasn’t even met into his heart.

What if I can’t?

We don’t stay long with Merrick and Drew. Ivan is getting fidgety. I think he wants to get some of the essentials ordered to at least make a start on Merrick’s comprehensive list.

Merrick explains how his spreadsheet works. We have must-haves, nice-to-haves, essentials, and absolutely essentials, all highlighted in assorted colours and ratings by each different type of the same product. It’s mindboggling to get my head around, but it will be fun looking at it all, bewildering but in a good way. At least the spare room closest to our bedroom is decorated with neutral colours, and we can easily turn it into a nursery.

“What colour should we do the nursery? Any ideas?” I ask as we get back inside the house. “Maybe we could get some ideas from Pinterest.”

“I don’t even know what that is. Educate me.”

“Why don’t you grab a bottle of wine, and we can get comfy while we shop?” I clasp my hands behind his neck and kiss him. “Let’s have some fun.”

“You’re amazing, you know that? Most men would have run for the hills. Women too, I think. But you’re here talking about nursery colours.”

The thought of leaving him because he’s having a baby has never entered my head. This child is a part of the man I love. I’d always imagined children in my future, and this may not be how I thought it would happen, but it has, and it’s exciting.

“The only way I’m leaving is if you make me.” I kiss him again, deeper this time, sweeping my tongue into his mouth and stroking it against his. I greedily suck on his tongue, nip his lip, and dive back in. He rocks his hips, pressing his erection against mine, and we both moan.

---