Page 35 of Lost In Someone

Ivan balls his hands into fists, looking like he wants to punch something, any hard surface. “That fucking woman. Who does this sort of crap? Why did she have the child? Why not terminate the pregnancy? I didn’t know a fucking thing. She’s never made any attempt to contact me. Nothing, not text, email, not even a bloody DM on Facebook. I haven’t seen her for about a year. So tell me, Mr Ogilvie, what does any of this crap have to do with me?”

Oglivie fidgets with his tie. “Because of the child. She named you as the father of the now two-month-old boy. Her wishes were for the child to come to you, along with a generous settlement. Ms Pierce has a large amount of money for you to raise him.”

Ivan flinches, physically shrinks as he clings to my hand. I can’t wrap my head around it. Ivan hasn’t seen or heard from her for nearly a year, and now we have a solicitor in our living room.

“I don’t know anything about her having the baby. How do you know it’s mine? We weren’t in an exclusive relationship. Shit, we weren’t in a relationship at all. Where are Kate’s parents? Why aren’t they having him? I can’t believe it.”

“They have chosen to honour Kate’s wishes, allowing you to have him.”

“No!” Ivan jumps up, shaking. Is it from anger or shock? “I can’t look after a child. What happens if I refuse?”

“The child will stay at the foster home and be put up for adoption,” the solicitor says blandly. “A DNA test will quickly sort out any confusion on your part, sir. I have a kit here.”

Ivan turns to me. “What should I do?”

This is a nightmare. An actual ‘what the fuck is happening?’ kind of nightmare. The ringing in my ears is getting louder as I struggle to get air into my lungs. I let go of Brodie’s hand and stand, then face the bloody guy. “I have no fucking clue what to do with a child. I didn’t know she had a baby. We hooked up a couple of times. Then she left after a weekend visit, and that was it.” I tug at my hair, the pain grounding me a bit. It’s bad enough that she didn’t come straight to me and sent a solicitor to deal with it all. How can I look after a baby?

“Ivan.” Brodie steps up behind me. “We need to get the DNA test done. There’s no point freaking out over something we don’t know the answer to. We can work this out, babe. Just do as he asks, and we can decide what to do when we’ve got some answers.”

I nod, even though I want to run, to run as far away as I can. “This can’t be happening, Brode. We’ve just got our lives sorted. We live together, and I love you, but I don’t know what to do.” I’m repeating myself, but it’s the truth. Who in their right mind would think me bringing up a baby is a good idea? I shake out my shoulders and face the solicitor. “Okay, let’s do this.”

He passes me the kit, and I open it and read the instructions. They look straightforward enough, but I give the pieces of paper to Brodie to read through them too. I can’t believe he’s still here. If the tables were turned, I’d be running for the hills. He’s reading every word, his eyebrows pinched together in concentration.

“It all looks clear to me. Do you want to carry on?” He gives me back the instructions, but I know him. Something else is on his mind, and I need to know what it is before I do the test.

“I need to have a word with my boyfriend. Can you give us a minute?” I take Brodie’s hand and all but drag him into the kitchen. I turn him against the tall cabinet and cup his face in my palms. “Talk to me. What’s going on in your head.”

“Just about everything. I mean, this is huge. If he is yours, can you turn him away? We have the room, babe. But it will be a ginormous change to our lives. Can you see yourself doing it, raising a baby?”

“You said we. We have the room, you said. Are you offering to do this with me?”

Brodie gives me a bewildered look. “Of course. We’re partners, aren’t we? I love you, Ivan. This doesn’t change that. The question is, do you want to do it at all? There’s the offer of adoption and love. Plenty of good people are waiting for children. If you want my opinion, I think you’ll need to take this baby, not because it’s the right thing to do, but because if the DNA comes back the way I expect it to, you’re his father, his daddy. And that’s something to be proud of.” He presses his mouth to mine. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

The idea of being a dad is slowly sinking in, and it does something to me. I would be making my dad proud, and if I can be half the father he was, I’ll be all right. “Okay, I’ll do the test.”

We return to the living room, and without much more fuss, Ogilvie swabs the inside of my mouth and promises to be in touch as soon as the results come back. If the test proves I am the baby’s father, we’ll need to have more talks and meetings to deal with.

I see Ogilvie out, but just as I open the front door, another question comes to mind. “What’s his name? The baby, what did she call him?”

“Milo.” With a nod, he leaves.

I close the door slowly, lean against it, and close my eyes. I drag in a ragged breath, my eyes burning with unshed tears. Not for the drama that has unfolded in the last hour, but the thought of a baby being left. I can—and will be—angry with her later, but now I’m so very sad for that little boy she doesn’t want.

“Come here.” Brodie pulls me into his arms, and I bury my head in the crook of his neck and sob. Huge, ugly, heartbreaking sobs.

I wrap my arms around his waist as he soothes me in a gentle voice. He says few words, but they mean everything. I don’t have to rush to pull myself together, so I let my tears flow as freely as they want.

Slowly they subside, and I lift my head. “Sorry about that.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Shall we go home?” Brodie kisses my forehead tenderly. He walks to the table and picks up a bag from Benny’s I hadn’t noticed.

“You went to That Seagull?”

“I thought we’d have them for breakfast.”

Exhaustion seeps into my bones. “Maybe later.” I pass Brodie the keys to my truck. “You drive.”

As we drive through the streets, I put my hand on Brodie’s arm. “Can we go to Merrick and Drew’s? I want to talk to Drew.”

---