Page 23 of Lost In Someone

“What? You knew each other before you moved here. Is that why you came?”

“No, I didn’t mean that. I—fuck. Look, just forget it, okay?” I run my hand through my hair and walk away to some other members. When I say goodbye, Mel and Stacey have left too. I drive straight to Ivan’s. He’s not expecting me, but I don’t think he’ll mind.

“Hey, baby.” Ivan opens the door, but his smile falls. “What’s happened?”

“I kind of told Mel and Stacey we’d met before. Well, it slipped out. Do you think they will tell Drew and Merrick?”

Ivan opens the door wider to let me in and brushes his lips over my temple. “Does it matter?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, maybe.”

Why should it matter? My thoughts have been messed up over this. Will Merrick believe the odds of it being a coincidence? “He might think I knew and that’s the reason I came here—to be with you. That we’ve been keeping it a secret.”

“Is he likely to be annoyed, angry? He seems pleased you’re here.” Ivan scratches his chin. “He may not like that it’s me, that our night together made such an impact on your life. On our lives.”

“I don’t think so. He knows more than anyone that life can change in the blink of an eye. And that you can’t help who you fall in love with. I mean, look at him and Drew. Merrick wasn’t sure he would ever love another man. He was so in love with Josh. They were a beautiful couple together. Josh’s death left him a shell. He only kept going because of Willow. We often had to remind him to eat and sleep.”

It’s too early to tell Ivan I love him and a surefire way to have him running for the hills. I don’t even know when it happened. It was some revelation when we were fucking, a light bulb moment of clarity. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I miss him when we’re not together, and when we are, I want to touch him, be close to him. I want him to be the first person I talk to, to tell him my news.

Ivan’s eyes sparkle with humour, and his lips twitch as if he’s holding back a smile. “Baby.” He brings his mouth to my ear. “I feel it too, and I’m guessing by the back-pedalling you did, you think it’s too soon to say. So we don’t have to say anything.” He taps his chest with two fingers and lays his hand flat. “But it’s here when we’re ready.”

I take his hand and place it over my heart. “When we’re ready.” I kiss him. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow, get it out of the way before Christmas.”

Drew and Merrick have invited us for Christmas dinner, and I want to clear the air by then. And Stacey shouldn’t have to feel she has to keep secrets for me. I asked her to keep it to herself, but it’s not fair on her.

We kiss again for a lot longer this time. I pull away regretfully. “I’d better go.”

“Stay.” He taps my heart again. “Please.” He gives me his best puppy dog eyes, and I nod. “That’s not going to work every time, mister.”

“We’ll see. Let’s get you in the shower.”

“Am I that stinky?” I clasp his hand and follow him upstairs.

As soon as we’re in the bathroom, Ivan slides his hands under my hoodie and T-shirt, pushing them up my chest and forcing my arms up. He licks a stripe from the centre of my chest to my armpit and inhales deeply.

“Fuck, I love the smell of you. I can’t get enough of it.” He does it again, and damn if it doesn’t turn me the fuck on.

I grab the hem of my top and pull it over my head, then push his head up and crash my mouth to his. “You’re so fucking sexy. I want you inside me, right fucking now,” I growl against his mouth and bite down on his bottom lip.

“Then strip, baby.”

Brodie’s lips touch my forehead. “I’ve got to go, darling. The running group is waiting for me.”

I open my eyes and blink sleepily. “Gimme me a minute, and I’ll come with you.”

“You don’t have to, plus I’ve got to go home and change first.”

“I want to. I’ll see you in the car park in twenty minutes.” I love the way his smile slowly spreads over his face, making his eyes sparkle when I do something he likes.

“Okay, then. See you soon.” He pecks my lips and saunters out of the room, knowing full well I’ll be watching his arse.

The intensity of my feelings for him should be scaring the fuck out of me, but I was honest with him last night. I’m too far gone to deny that I love him. I hadn’t expected him to feel the same way. When I entered him last night, I saw the truth blazing in his eyes and felt it as he trembled under my touch.

I want to be with him when he talks to Merrick. It’s important to Brodie that Merrick understands and believes him. Honestly, I don’t care what Merrick thinks. My only concern is Brodie and making him happy.

I pull on some running shorts and a long-sleeved tee, pee, and brush my teeth, lace up my running shoes, and I’m out of the house. A jog over to the car park can be my warm-up. It’s a sunny day but still cold enough for my breath to plume as I run. The others from the group are stretching as they chat and joke with each other. Drew is there as well and waves at me.

“Brodie has finally persuaded you to join us.” He claps my shoulder.

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